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The Most Miserable Pornstar Ever

Pretty sure I once saw this chick in a humanitarian commercial for Yugoslavian orphans. It's hard to forget a facial expression like that.... especially after fappin to it for 3 consecutive months.

2,251,776 views 10/07/09 Fail

Molested At Lunch Time

This is a scene from some stupid French porno called The Image. Stars that old bitch from 101 Dalmations as some sort of empowered cunt that likes to dominate. Kinda funny but not really my cup of tea. I was raised on the notion that degradation is a man's job.

1,792,659 views 09/16/09 Groped

Pornstar Quits Over Farting Incident

This is a scene from MEATHOLES, which was basically one of the most extreme porn sites on the web back in 2003-ish. It's funny. This girl can handle a fist up her cunt while the cameraman inquires about her childhood, but let one slip in her face and that's where she draws the line.

2,792,688 views 08/19/09 Meatholes Fail

Pornstar Hates Semen

No one said you had to like it baby. Just sit back, open wide and think about all the Baja Chalupas you'll be able to buy as soon as you're done. That's what gets me through the day.

1,519,110 views 08/17/09 Cum Haters

America's Next Top Pornstar

You stuttering, premature ejaculating son of a gun. Peter North and Ron Jeremy are already packing their bags.

1,654,243 views 08/16/09 Premature

Making Porno Is Serious Business

1,186,189 views 08/04/09 Fail

Hello, I'm Masturbating To You

Who needs porno when you have... fat black bitches in bathing suits? Pretty much everyone but this guy.

2,066,904 views 07/30/09 Exhibition

Life Support Porn

I've officially seen it all. Well, almost. Still waiting on that Brian Peppers sextape to surface. Till then, my hunt for fucked up porno treasure goes on.

1,959,506 views 07/12/09 Mildly Retarded

Not Your Typical Pornstar

He's got a viking haircut, a 7.5 inch cock and the pussy-eating skills of a Golden Retriever. The porn industry will never be the same.

2,338,283 views 06/08/09 Mildly Retarded

The Most Obnoxious Bitch In Porn

I don't really give a fuck what anyone else has to say... domestic violence is always a solution. I'd pimp slap that bitch all the way back into the 80's, a time when her David Bowie hairdo was actually fashionable.

1,597,075 views 05/18/09 Fail

Pornstar Refuses To Do ATM

Sounds like a violation of a contractual agreement if you ask me. See ya on Judge Judy bitch.

1,472,013 views 05/16/09 Fail

Racist Porn From The 70's

Complete with a negro version of quasimoto. Warning in advance to my beloved caucasian viewers, black-on-white racism lies within!

2,299,455 views 05/01/09 Vintage

Pornstars Say The Darndest Things

"You don't deserve my cock... you don't even deserve a bulldog's cock. All you deserve is your own stinking shit, so get down and suck it off my prick" .... turn the volume up for this one boys. Waaay up.

2,046,174 views 04/04/09 LULZ

Oink Oink Suck My Dick

For a minute there, I was actually beginning to lose faith in Japan's ability to consistently create the most fucked up, ridiculous adult films known to man. Then I was introduced to the latest and greatest - 'anamorphic animal porn'. Pure win.

3,520,728 views 03/30/09 Asians

Prisoners Of Whore

The storylines on these Japanese pornos are really hard to follow. I vote less plot and more eels.

1,572,681 views 03/10/09 Asians

Butthole Obliteration

If Twitter was popular in 2009, a social media campaign could have made this a serious case for Depends Undergarment's first official sponsor of an amateur porn video. I consider it a lost opportunity really.

1,503,110 views 02/25/09 Painal

Cleanup On Orifice Number 1

This is a fetish known as 'cuckold cleanup'. Usually it involves a closet homosexual who gets off on pimpin his wife out to random strangers. Often the husband will sit in the corner and actually videotape as his significant other gets pounded by foreign cock. Once the creampie has been injected, it's like 'all you can eat' night at Red Lobster. Yum yum eat em up.

1,595,622 views 02/21/09 Cuckold

Ouch! My Cock!

Looks like women aren't the only ones to suffer injuries on the sets of porno shoots. Professional taco stuffers have a few occupational hazards of their own. I suppose that as long rectal prolapses aren't on that list, being a stunt cock is still my dream job.

1,764,832 views 02/04/09 Kink.com Fail

Pornstar Nearly Impales Herself

Mullet girl doesn't seem to realize that a dildo this large is likely to cause internal bleeding. Had it actually penetrated her vagina - she'd go down in medical history as the first gynecology patient to have no need for a speculum.

2,146,079 views 12/17/08 Insertions

He's Not Exactly Pornstar Material

I love how he franctically jacks off even after he's already blown his load, maybe hoping to milk out one last squirt of man-goo and actually land it on her face? No such luck for this fatty arbuckle. I'll tell you though, I'm definitely diggin his torn up thong.

2,117,966 views 12/13/08 LULZ
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