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She HATES Blowjobs LOL

When you weigh as much as the couch you're nesting on... performing fellatio is practically considered "exercise". Naturally she's not a fan. What's special though is her mock enthusiasm right at the end. You can literally see calories being burned as she imitates the standard pornstar approach to sucking dick. It's mesmerizing.

2,225,884 views 06/27/10 LULZ

Lemme Smell Yo Dick

One of the shittiest XXX films I've seen in my time... edited down to a cool 60 seconds. It's nothing amazing but fuck... it's got a plot revolving around accusations of sheep rape and worse acting than a Segal flick. How could I not post it?

2,276,932 views 06/27/10 Vintage

Is It In Yet

Hector and his 2.5 inch pop gun (their measurements, not mine) get an earful of criticism after disappointing a gang of size queens... and nailing himself in the forehead with his own payload. Sorry friend but I think it's best you take your cocktail sausage and head on back to that strawberry field you done crawled up out of.

6,984,898 views 06/07/10 FuckTeamFive LULZ

Before & After

An upclose look at the genitalia of a Brazillian gutterslut directly before and after having an intimate encounter with Jamal Jones Jr the 3rd. The rectal damage is top shelf.

4,052,784 views 05/21/10 Prolapse

Blumpkins Really Do Exist

Male pornstar goes where no male pornstar has gone before: to the bathroom... whilst getting his dick sucked. Sounded like a wet one too. Guess this ends the century-long debate that blumpkins are merely an object of fucked up folklore. Another score for modern civilization.

3,052,502 views 05/05/10 Fail

I Lost My Virginity To A Dog

Perhaps my logic in somewhat flawed - but you'd think that someone who's devoted their life to sucking animal dick would at least have the courtesy to convert to vegetarianism. You heartless bitch.

3,183,513 views 03/10/10 LULZ

My Sister Caught Me Masturbating

Mr. big dick hot shot is reduced to a little bitch in 5 seconds flat after his sister walks in on his cybersex extravaganza.

3,826,030 views 02/23/10 Busted!

Hi, My Penis Is 3 Feet Long

Shit. If my cock that was big, I'd throw on my limited edition Bugle Boy jean shorts and hit the boardwalk.

4,690,543 views 01/26/10 Asians

Orgasm Fail

Preggo girl is in the middle of cumming when her [minute] man declares that the apple sauce is en route for early delivery. She replies with a double "doo eet", which I believe means: "cum inside me so that I can finish my orgasm you twig dick motherfucker". The request didn't seem to catch.

4,527,978 views 12/08/09 Premature

10 Inches Of Terror

That raspy lookin black bitch's reaction is fuckin PRICELESS!

3,757,528 views 11/24/09 Exhibition

The Blob

He can brag about his 20 pound meat bag all he wants. If it doesn't get hard, then it's about as useful as a black hooker at a blood drive.

1,485,045 views 11/19/09 WTF

Bitch! You Broke My Dick!

Fuck porn, she belongs in MMA.

3,756,808 views 11/04/09 Fights

Big Penises Cause Big Problems

Jesus. His cock is so big it's capable of causing fatal internal damage. I've never been so jealous in my life.

2,495,832 views 07/15/09 Fail

Orgasm At The Gym

You're supposed to wipe down the machine with a towel before you leave, dickhead.

1,376,618 views 07/10/09 Public

Mini Me 2.0

Fuck yes, another person with a penis as small as mine. Welcome to the club brother, refreshments are on the table.

951,592 views 04/18/09

Oink Oink Suck My Dick

For a minute there, I was actually beginning to lose faith in Japan's ability to consistently create the most fucked up, ridiculous adult films known to man. Then I was introduced to the latest and greatest - 'anamorphic animal porn'. Pure win.

3,520,530 views 03/30/09 Asians

Guess What She Ate For Lunch

I'll give you a hint - it's a vegetable that shares it's name with an incredibly shitty nu metal band whose fans always wear black nail polish and amazingly have smaller penises than myself (sub 3.75 inches). This is too easy.

1,816,700 views 03/08/09 LULZ

Let Yo Dick Swang

I wonder how often he accidentally breaks a girls nose doing all that high speed cock slapping? or does that only happen when the bitch stiffs him on his much deserved dollar tip?

1,650,478 views 02/11/09 Strippers

Baby Got Back

Her ass protrudes more inches than my dick is long. Anal sex just wouldn't be possible with this one.

1,243,112 views 01/20/09

Pencil Dick

Never thought I'd be so jealous of a cock shaped like a Slim Jim... and a chocolate covered one at that. Always buckle up and wear a rubber when traveling down the hershey highway, head on collisions can be messy.

2,452,734 views 01/20/09 Big Dicks
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