He's socially inept and has B cup titties. How can life possibly get any worse? If you guessed 'make a porno, creep the living fuck out of the girl, blow your load in 4 seconds and end up all over the internet", you just won my inflatable Captain Planet sex doll.
I've never seen a man so content with having only lasted 24 seconds in the sack. His sexual prowess has the runtime of a Tampax commercial... and all he cares about is using his woman's rump roast as a bongo drum set. Bares some similarities to THIS efukt classic.
This is a scene from GANGBANGED 2. Blacks and whites combine penile forces for the greater good of ensuring Dana DeArmond's asshole will be forever loose. The interview that follows is quite interesting / fucking ridiculous.
It took 3 years and 117 attempts... but it happened. It finally happened. All he ever wanted was an audience. All she ever intended was to restock toiletries. Somewhere in the middle they found eachother, and from there it was love at first cumshot. Equally amazing video HERE.
Rimjobs - the quintessential stepping stone to full-blown A2M. Most girls have little trouble making it over to the other side of the rainbow - but odds are they weren't paired up with some asshole that forgot how to wipe, as is this guy.
James Deen slings his gentleman juice down one mouth too many in this tragic outtake from Tonsil Hockey. Moral of the story is simple. Never leave your piehole agape when you're on the business end of a 12 inch cock. haha.
One man does in 30 seconds what 7 men couldnt do in 2 hours. His secret weapon? Jackrabbit-esque fucking. Lightening fast and kidney deep. Check the 1 minute mark. Her trembling lips and deer-in-headlights facial expression say it all.
Classic scene from Heavy Handfuls 2 featuring Loni, a cock starved Filipino that's literally incapable of climaxing without full on r@pe simulation. She tries explaining but is ultimately cutoff by her costar who rather chat about his love for rimjobs. Cute.
CHAIN REACTION: she gives a shitty blowjob > he retaliates by ejaculating in her mouth, (big no-no) > unexpected putrid jizz causes her to gag uncontrollably > heavy coughing puts pressure on already loose anus > splat, a Hershey Kiss is born. Similar video HERE.
She's gifted with the rectal capacity of Mr. Methane. Obvious perks: 1) balls deep penetration with Wesley Snipes 2) forgo any and all defecation for years at a time and 3) you get to be epic drug mule. Perk #2 is where it's at. Check out her myspace in the source link.
Hobo Jones coughs up 5 singles for a back alley knob-slob. Takes all but 23 seconds to reach climax, at which point he immediately helps himself to a full refund by forcefully robbing her and running for dear life... leaving her in the dust with a mouthful of bum cum! Instant classic.
There's only 2 people in the world that cant tell when they're being anally penetrated. Howard Stern.. and this girl. She's 19, anti masturbation and dumber than a billy goat crossbred with Tila Tequila. She also wants to be a pornstar.
Premature ejaculation is funny. People trying to combat premature ejaculation is funnier. Notable examples: A) pipe squeezer and B) focusing on dog shit. Today we introduce a new, equally fucking retarded method for countering early evac. It's called sniffin your costars asshole. And unless the bitch just shit out 4 baconators, it wont work.
Two best friends, both packing about as much meat as Earthworm Jim, head to the local glory hole for a good time. Penile deficient guy #1 gets laughed out the booth, while the 2nd is given a standing chance but ultimately lacks the inches neccessary for a practical performance. haha.
This video taught me two things. 1) eating Subway prior to apocalyptical throat fucking yields hilarious results and 2) CGI will not be necessary in any future projectile vomiting scenes.
Big fat curved penis sends a fresh wad of home cooked Twinky filling right back into the face of it's creator. It's not a problem I expect to incur any time soon but I do retain faith in the bottle of Extenze my sister so kindly purchased me last xmas. Similar videos HERE & HERE.
Shaft and Gilligan combine forces for the greater good - to quite literally fuck the pudding pop out of a $7.25 Tijuana hooker. And this my friends is why cheap motels always use floral bedding - it's essentially camouflage for shit stains.
Kylie Ireland flips the fuck out after champaign-laced saliva (uh-huh) breaches her meat cave and causes discomfort. With 15+ years experience in the industry... you could likely slip a Mini Cooper up her twat without her even noticing... and yet somehow a single loogie results in a tapout? Looks like menopause came 20 years early.
Downside of being 26 and still living at home: everytime youre about to unload some nutsack chutney onto your GF's face., momma comes a knockin! And of course there's always the other end of the spectrum - mom's with foot long dongs but no time to use em.
