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The Super Soaker

When it rains... it pours.

08/26/09 Orgasms

Shotgun Blast To The Vajayjay

All I can think about is the people who jack off to this shit. I envision a crowd of a thousand Japs in a dimly lit adult theater, simultaneously ejaculating just as the girl's vagina gets blown into oblivion by a point-blank blast from a 12 guage. Enthusiastic high fives, everywhere.

07/07/09 Bizarre

A Unique Friendship

Way too homoerotic for my taste, but I did get a laugh out of his 'grand finale' and the excessive use of the word "bro". Watch all the way through and you'll understand.

07/02/09 Bizarre

Extreme Anal Maintenance

If only my girlfriend shared her habits... maybe then I wouldn't end up with shit in my urethra 3 times a week.

07/01/09 Bizarre

Fuck The Shit Out Of Me

Ask, and ye shall recieve. I learned that in bible club

05/30/09 Orgasms

Gone In 60 Seconds

The title is slightly inaccurate, I just felt like making a reference to that shitty Nick Cage movie. The reality of the situation is that this willy wonka can't even last 5 seconds. Getting to the 1 minute mark would be like an olympic achievement.

05/25/09 Premature

The Most Obnoxious Bitch In Porn

I don't really give a fuck what anyone else has to say... domestic violence is always a solution. I'd pimp slap that bitch all the way back into the 80's, a time when her David Bowie hairdo was actually fashionable.

05/18/09 Fail

Why You Motherfucker

Hottest thing I've seen all day.

04/23/09 Vintage

My Bitch Is Kinky

Some pretty good dialogue in this one. A warm thank you to the creator of these videos for letting me post em, eFukt loves you... and your kinky Harley bitch.

04/17/09 LULZ

Pornstars Say The Darndest Things

"You don't deserve my cock... you don't even deserve a bulldog's cock. All you deserve is your own stinking shit, so get down and suck it off my prick" .... turn the volume up for this one boys. Waaay up.

04/04/09 LULZ

Drive Thru Facial

LOL @ the cashiers reaction. Bitch you be on eFukt and shit.

03/24/09

Oops! My Asshole Fell Out!

Prolaptic standoff between Falcor and Mr. Spaghettios. I love this shit.

03/14/09 Prolapse

Guess What She Ate For Lunch

I'll give you a hint - it's a vegetable that shares it's name with an incredibly shitty nu metal band whose fans always wear black nail polish and amazingly have smaller penises than myself (sub 3.75 inches). This is too easy.

03/08/09 LULZ

I Lost My Cellphone In Your Vagina

I have this strong feeling that she ended up passing out with that phone still lost within her vaginal abyss. Yes I can see the headlines now: "Promiscuous college girl awakens to the sound of a ringtone echoing throughout the canals. Surgical removal was necessary."

01/22/09 Insertions

Your Cock Will Never Be That Big

Luckily I'll never be exposed to such humiliation at the hands of a woman, for in my hometown of Tajikistan it's a criminal offense to mock a man's penis size, punishable by decapitation via serrated butter knife. But that's not to say a woman would ever have any reason to shame my kidney cracker to begin with. Trust me, I put horses to shame.

01/16/09 Amateur

Brewski

Shit, let me get you a coaster for that!

01/14/09

The Dumbest Sex Device Ever Built

That doesn't even look too fun. Her tits look like tomatoes on the verge of exploding. I never realized breasts were so durable. Not only do they come in handy for whatever the fuck you'd call this shit, but they also serve as excellent punching bags. They're multipurpose, unlike my penis.

12/28/08 Bizarre

Homeless Hooker

I found this in an article about homeless women who work out of portable toilets as prostitutes. Can you imagine actually paying this beast to suck your dick in that thing? The heavy smell of shit/hiv would be enough to cause me respiratory failure.

12/11/08

Amputee Porn Gone Bad

All the things that made amputee porn so great just got shitted on by whoever made this so called 'erotic film'. Amputee porn is about disabled, submissive (and usually defenseless) women being fucked by men with exceedingly large penises. I refuse to have it any other way.

12/10/08 Amputee
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