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Blumpkins Really Do Exist

Male pornstar goes where no male pornstar has gone before: to the bathroom... whilst getting his dick sucked. Sounded like a wet one too. Guess this ends the century-long debate that blumpkins are merely an object of fucked up folklore. Another score for modern civilization.

3,055,183 views 05/05/10 Fail

Even Jocks Premature Ejaculate

Contrary to his appearance, endurance really isn't this chumps speciality. His load is spent quicker than a black man's paycheck. To call him a minute-man would be a compliment. But all of that's okay when you have big muscles.

3,038,219 views 04/26/10 Premature

The Result Of A Real Orgasm

Take note kids. If the bitch aint flopping around like a senior citizen mid epileptic seizure, you're doing it wrong!

3,212,441 views 04/12/10 Orgasms

Cornhole Destruction

She screams "ow!" 87 times in the span of 3 minutes. The quality may be crap but you really cant complain with numbers like that.

2,397,119 views 02/22/10 Painal

He Rather Fuck A Horse

Hmmm. Cant really blame the guy. If your wife looked like a cross between Rosanne and a lesbian hippopotamus... you'd probably explore other options too.

2,390,196 views 02/16/10 LULZ

BEEP BEEP! I've Got A Boner

Beating off at home is for pussies. Real men take their meat to the street.

1,179,006 views 10/25/09 Exhibition

Quit Fapping & GTFO

I guess he figured that once she laid eyes on his 7 inch yankee doodle, she wouldn't be able to resist and that a 'happy ending' would ensue. The Motel 6 guy actually shared the same ideology. Too much late night Cinemax porn can really fuck with your head these days.

3,547,772 views 10/09/09 Exhibition

Molested At Lunch Time

This is a scene from some stupid French porno called The Image. Stars that old bitch from 101 Dalmations as some sort of empowered cunt that likes to dominate. Kinda funny but not really my cup of tea. I was raised on the notion that degradation is a man's job.

1,798,982 views 09/16/09 Groped

The Sex Offender Strikes Back

Interesting choice in victims. Random hot chicks, disabled senior citizens, and now ambulance drivers. Variety really is the spice of life.

910,248 views 08/12/09 Exhibition

Gone In 60 Seconds

The title is slightly inaccurate, I just felt like making a reference to that shitty Nick Cage movie. The reality of the situation is that this willy wonka can't even last 5 seconds. Getting to the 1 minute mark would be like an olympic achievement.

1,927,803 views 05/25/09 Premature

The Most Obnoxious Bitch In Porn

I don't really give a fuck what anyone else has to say... domestic violence is always a solution. I'd pimp slap that bitch all the way back into the 80's, a time when her David Bowie hairdo was actually fashionable.

1,601,221 views 05/18/09 Fail

Stop! You're Destroying My Vagina

You know what would've been really funny? If he had instead said STFU bish and kept pounding away. Painful intercourse always brings the lulz.

1,790,635 views 05/12/09 Amateur

1 Guy 1 Screwdriver

Poor fella. First his cornhole and now his jimmy jammy. Only one sexual organ left to destroy - el huevos. See ya in another 3 months buddy. Okay now all of you go join the eFukt forum. The dude in these videos posts on there. For realz.

3,518,534 views 04/19/09 Extreme

Prisoners Of Whore

The storylines on these Japanese pornos are really hard to follow. I vote less plot and more eels.

1,575,742 views 03/10/09 Asians

Butthole Obliteration

If Twitter was popular in 2009, a social media campaign could have made this a serious case for Depends Undergarment's first official sponsor of an amateur porn video. I consider it a lost opportunity really.

1,506,408 views 02/25/09 Painal

Unwanted Product Placement

That's bad. Really bad. Pepsi should sue.

624,874 views 01/25/09

Piglet

Ya know that hot 18 year old blonde you had cybersex with last week? This is what she really looks like.

438,014 views 01/03/09

The Dumbest Sex Device Ever Built

That doesn't even look too fun. Her tits look like tomatoes on the verge of exploding. I never realized breasts were so durable. Not only do they come in handy for whatever the fuck you'd call this shit, but they also serve as excellent punching bags. They're multipurpose, unlike my penis.

1,498,667 views 12/28/08 Bizarre

Pornstar Nearly Impales Herself

Mullet girl doesn't seem to realize that a dildo this large is likely to cause internal bleeding. Had it actually penetrated her vagina - she'd go down in medical history as the first gynecology patient to have no need for a speculum.

2,150,096 views 12/17/08 Insertions

Coworker Caught Jacking Off

Really now, I've been caught doing worse things on the job. K-Mart, January 2002, thirty minutes before closing, pet food aisle. Me, Mrs. Dilworth and a 2 foot lava lamp straight out of the display case. Use your imagination.

2,217,132 views 11/23/08 Busted!
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