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Cute Face, Ugly Vagina

The one time Japan decides to not censor the genitals... they cast a girl with a Saarlac for a twat. Didn't see Return of the Jedi? Here's an alternative metaphor: Imagine Gene Simmons face, mouth ajar and tongue extended, reincarnated as Yoko Ono's twat. That ought to do it.

05/27/11 JAVHD Asians

Wrong Hole, Charlie Brown!

Persian girl gets an accidental, no-lube blow to the rectum... most likely due to her male counterpart having the gut of a pregnant woman and not being able to see what the fuck he's aiming at. Or in other words... he tried to no-scope it and failed wonderfully.

Obnoxious Girl Is Obnoxious

She's drunk, high and/or possibly retarded... all of which adequately explain why she's fucking a dude that has less hair than Mr. Magoo and singing along to shitty techo beats. The real question is... who's dick did she have to suck for that badassical Santa Clause skirt? I dig it.

03/29/11 WTF

Squirt Fail

A little KY Jelly, Egyptian cotton sheets, continuous stimulation of the G-Spot... what could possibly go wrong? I'll give you a hint.. it's shaped like a dodger dog, travels at high velocities and smells like that fat girl from Precious.

03/28/11 Fail

The Pink Taco

Up close look at a woman experiencing a clitoral orgasm, followed by some heavy vaginal contractions. Shit, I almost sound like a legitimate doctor. I wonder if anyone would take the bait if I made a craigslist post offering free gyno exams? College girls only.

03/12/11 Orgasms

Derpy Derp Orgasmo Girl

Short compilation of Chloe Camilla's most over the top, ear deafening climaxes. I really wanna know... is this shit fake? or is it considered normal to perform half assed Taekwondo mid-orgasm?

03/07/11 Kink.com Orgasms

Shrek

Ouch. Time to cue "dont you wish your girlfriend was hot like me".

09/22/10

Girl Orgasms Via Rollercoaster

I love how the dude stops laughing and goes completely silent once he realizes his girlfriend wasn't joking about having an orgasm. Sorry Peter, your cock just got one-upped by a cheap carnival ride. HUMILIATION.

08/11/10 Orgasms

Twig Girl

She's flat broke, has the body of a malnutritioned Ethiopian and travels via duffle bag. If those arent the quintessential ingredients for a Japanese pornstar, I don't know what is. Now save up some yen and buy a fucking happy meal already.

07/20/10 JAVHD Asians

Threesome Fail

Dude gets kicked out of a sex club after breaking an unwritten rule against blowing your load on other people's girlfriends. Yep. You can slam fuck her till she screams bloody murder, just dont get any semen on her brah. Shit aint cool.

07/12/10 Fail

How To Get A Girls Digits

A new era in pick-up artistry is born. This is called the "gimme your number or I will fucking kill you" approach. Fine tuned by the colorful minorities of France.

05/30/10 Fights

LOL GTFO Grandma

This is rather odd. I mean the dude gets caught pissing on the face of his 20 year old girlfriend by a lady older than Jesus and doesn't even bother to cover up. For a solid 10 seconds the old hag just stands there eyeing his cock. There's no embarrassment. No dialogue. Just one baffled senior citizen trying to make sense of a contemporary sex act.

05/29/10 Busted!

Girl Got HIV After Doing Anal

This is the story of Lara Roxx - a French Canadian who's career as a hardcore pornstar was derailed before it even began. She contracted HIV just after her first shoot - which involved taking 2 fat cocks up the ass simultaneously... aka "double anal"... aka just beggin for a blood transfusion.

05/13/10 Documentary

Pornstars + Crazy = WIN

There's something truly captivating about the tap dancing, bug eyed bitch at the 20 second mark. Her facial expression just screams "butt rape me till I poo blood." Definitely girlfriend material.

05/10/10 Party Hardcore LULZ

Lesbian Fail

Ashley Blue gets tossed to the ground after flaunting her diseased twat in the wrong girl's face. I'm afraid that canned tuna / Wisconsin aged cheddar aroma just ain't for everyone.

04/17/10 Squirt Bukkake Fail

Rectal Control Fail

She's in the middle of an all-girl bukkake shoot when her cornhole opens up and gives birth to a raisinette. Not only does this dirty slut pick it up and attempt to hide it, but she then continues to rub her snatch with the same fuckin hand. NICE 1 LADY!

03/30/10 Squirt Bukkake Fail

Orgasm Fail

Preggo girl is in the middle of cumming when her [minute] man declares that the apple sauce is en route for early delivery. She replies with a double "doo eet", which I believe means: "cum inside me so that I can finish my orgasm you twig dick motherfucker". The request didn't seem to catch.

12/08/09 Premature

The Inside Out Girl

Her asshole resembles the neck of a kid that's just been decapitated. Hmmm. Sounds like fap time if you ask me.

10/30/09 Prolapse

Sharing Is Caring

Snowballing? Fuck that. I'd rather toss my girlfriend's salad directly after shitting out 2 pounds of kung pao chicken than be orally introduced to my own man jam. Too many calories bro.

09/14/09 LULZ

Anal With Constipated Girlfriend

I'm always one step ahead of female biology. When I wanna ass fuck a woman, I simply lace her Cinnamon Toast Crunch with ex-lax. Come night fall, her cornhole is as empty as Tara Reid's head. Works every time.

09/09/09 LULZ
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