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Porn Scenes Worthy of an Oscar 1

Todays menu: a.) girl manipulates dad into oral sex while mom contemplates suicide b.) leper fucks ass, leper's winky gets decapitated, leper continues to fuck ass anyway and c.) vintage buttrape porn, never fuck with a man that's just lost a game of Old Maid.

4,567,029 views 11/07/12 Porn Scenes Worthy of an Oscar

Girl Drops Deuce, Forgets To Wipe

Her ability to wipe her ass is on par with Tom Sizemore's ability to not beat women. Fortunately at least 1 person in this vid has some considerable talent, and that's the dude that miraculously didn't peel over & die after getting a whiff of her shit-box!

3,774,290 views 06/19/12 EvilAngel LULZ

The Return Of 'Gentle Breakdown' Girl

Remember the frigid chick that randomly started sobbing in the middle of a Rocco shoot? It was actually pretty touching, to both my heart & my penis. But apparently that encounter was only chapter 1 in a saga of piss-poor decisions.

5,234,483 views 06/04/12 LULZ

She Fucks Moolionairs

Fangirl shits pinecones after overhearing pornstar Brian Pumper refer to her as a 'bitch'. Blows are exchanged & shit gets ugly, but the real battle is all verbal, with ego-busting insults like "u think i wud tweet about u? I FUCK MOOLIONAIRES NIGGUH". Fucking brutal.

3,055,267 views 05/15/12 LULZ

Bro Shits Himself After Knocking Girl Out

panic; pan·ic1; noun; sudden uncontrollable fear or anxiety, often causing wildly unthinking behavior.

5,506,746 views 04/26/12 Brazzers Fail

Diet WIN

She's got a unique look. It's two parts concentration camp, one part Glamour Girls. If anyone's interested in a wager, I have Season 6 of Bill Nye the Science Guy on bluray that says my pet chinchilla drops bigger deuces than this chick. More of her HERE.

9,060,397 views 02/24/12 Gallery

HURRY UP and CUM!

UPDATE: this girl actually emailed me, here's the background story - she lives in a KKK-laden town where 12 inch black wangs are the forbidden fruit. Undeterred, she sought salvation on blackplanet.com and ultimately bit off more BBC than her vagina could chew.

9,868,731 views 02/17/12 Amateur

The Most Gentle Breakdown Ever

This girl has 1 of the nicest racks I've ever seen. But bundle that with an extremely frigid personality & you then have the biggest disappointment since Macaulay Culkin's The Pagemaster. Seriously, this chick's so uptight she wont even do a facial. It's tragic.

6,905,837 views 02/06/12 Rocco Siffredi Breakdowns

Bad Times At The Bachelorette Party

This girl has an emotional breakdown immediately following a facial. I initially assumed the obvious - dude must love his jumbo asparagus. But upon a 2nd viewing, I spotted a wedding band on the left hand. This is the part where I'm supposed to call her a whore. Personally, I'd rather just comfort her and smell her butt. I'm romantic like that.

10,850,803 views 01/25/12 Party Hardcore Breakdowns

Not Even A Minute Man

7 inch cock? Check. Syphilis free? Probably. Can make a girl cum? Not a fucking chance. Have yourself a hearty LOL as Jose's porn dreams go down the shitter faster than Steven Segal's music career.

4,373,981 views 11/30/11 Fucked Up Handjobs Premature

Asian Stoner Has Epic Ass

She's half Korean, half Mexican. That means she's pro at math and will have around 17 kids by this time next year. Not really. This girl actually just likes to smoke weed and take pictures of her massive ass - both of which are combined today in ways you cant even fathom. OOOOH YEAH.

4,216,346 views 11/23/11 LULZ

Dumbest Girl In Porn

Ok, maybe not the dumbest, but there'll always be 2nd place for the special little whore that went on cable TV to brag about spreading Chlamydia, smoking crack & sodomizing costars with uncooked meats.

5,608,209 views 10/21/11 LULZ

The 24 Year Old Virgin

He's socially inept and has B cup titties. How can life possibly get any worse? If you guessed 'make a porno, creep the living fuck out of the girl, blow your load in 4 seconds and end up all over the internet", you just won my inflatable Captain Planet sex doll.

4,476,602 views 10/13/11 Virgins

Whoregasm

This girl sheds many tears. Some due to the intensity of a supposed orgasm (technical term: whoregasm). Others because she didn't get a chance to chug any JD prior to filming. Three words: train fucking wreck. Forget the cash, next time pay her in Paxil.

3,460,684 views 09/06/11 Fail

Crazy Squealing Orgasm

This girl is a total nymph. Bang her extra deep and you'll be rewarded with a sound you'd normally only hear in a fucked up Peta video. Hot shit. Now about this vid - it's from a site called Watch Us Fuck, created by a duo that's been documenting their own sex life since age 18.

8,876,057 views 07/17/11 Watch Us Fuck Ridiculous Orgasms

Anorexic Girl Has Ginormous Pussy

The smaller the girl, the smaller the vagina. It's a pretty straightforward concept.. and it's officially now defunct thanks to this 91 pounds of pure skank. I'll put it plainly... looking into her twat gives me vertigo. It's that bad.

4,916,041 views 06/26/11 Bangbros LULZ

Asian Girl Got Talent

She's blessed with the rectal capacity of Richard Simmons. Obvious perks: 1) balls deep penetration with Wesley Snipes 2) forgo any and all defecation for years at a time and 3) you get to be epic drug mule. Perk #2 is where it's at. Check out her myspace in the source link.

3,754,749 views 06/13/11 Asians

Did I Just Do Anal.... IDK

There's only 2 people in the world that cant tell when they're being anally penetrated. Stephen Hawking.. and this girl. She's 19, anti masturbation and dumber than a Billy Goat crossbred with Tila Tequila. She also wants to be a pornstar. God bless.

5,324,521 views 06/08/11 Backroom Casting Couch Fail

Cute Face, Ugly Vagina

The one time Japan decides to not censor the genitals... they cast a girl with a Saarlac for a twat. Didn't see Return of the Jedi? Here's an alternative metaphor: Imagine Gene Simmons face, mouth ajar and tongue extended, reincarnated as Yoko Ono's twat. That ought to do it.

3,884,026 views 05/27/11 JAVHD Asians

Wrong Hole, Charlie Brown!

Persian girl gets an accidental, no-lube blow to the rectum... most likely due to her male counterpart having the gut of a pregnant woman and not being able to see what the fuck he's aiming at. Or in other words... he tried to no-scope it and failed wonderfully.

5,341,676 views 04/26/11 Totallyannette.com Wrong Holes
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