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Condom Fail

That's what happens when you buy contraceptives out of vending machines.

08/18/09 LULZ

Pornstar Hates Semen

No one said you had to like it baby. Just sit back, open wide and think about all the Baja Chalupas you'll be able to buy as soon as you're done. That's what gets me through the day.

08/17/09 Cum Haters

Gangbanged By 251 Men For Nothing

The 90's - A time when fucking a quarter thousand men in the name of art somehow made sense. Talk about a resume booster!

08/09/09 LULZ

Shotgun Blast To The Vajayjay

All I can think about is the people who jack off to this shit. I envision a crowd of a thousand Japs in a dimly lit adult theater, simultaneously ejaculating just as the girl's vagina gets blown into oblivion by a point-blank blast from a 12 guage. Enthusiastic high fives, everywhere.

07/07/09 Bizarre

A Unique Friendship

Way too homoerotic for my taste, but I did get a laugh out of his 'grand finale' and the excessive use of the word "bro". Watch all the way through and you'll understand.

07/02/09 Bizarre

Bite Size Vagina

Ass to vagina to mouth. If you're up for it, I've got a Power Wheels Escalade with your name on it.

06/23/09

Horse Cock Syndrome

How exactly does one go about obtaining this "syndrome"? I got a snazzy date next Friday and I'm looking to impress.

06/23/09 Tranny

Gigantic Genitalia

I'm about to take a hot shower and fap to my Elton John's Greatest Hits CD. I'll type up a video description a bit later, k?

06/04/09 Asians

Fuck The Shit Out Of Me

Ask, and ye shall recieve. I learned that in bible club

05/30/09 Orgasms

When Senior Citizens Attack

Had me ROFL'ing up until the point that he started bashing her face in like Mike Tyson. That was my cue to bust out the Jergens.

05/22/09 Vintage

Orgasm Renders Wife Unconscious

Neat trick but I'm afraid I lack the penis for the job. No worries though, that's where the GHB comes into play. It's all about equal opportunity fellas.

05/13/09 Orgasms

A Vagina Within A Vagina

Double decker taco. Kinda looks like the mouth of the xenomorph from the Alien series. A wee bit nasty but I'd still let her sit on my face.

03/24/09 Beef Curtains

Oops! My Asshole Fell Out!

Prolaptic standoff between Falcor and Mr. Spaghettios. I love this shit.

03/14/09 Prolapse

Soccer Mom

Whenever she makes the unfortunate decision to reproduce, I bet you the doctors in the delivery room will just have her stand up and let gravity take it's course. The little fucker will fall right out.

03/02/09 Insertions

Cleanup On Orifice Number 1

This is a fetish known as 'cuckold cleanup'. Usually it involves a closet homosexual who gets off on pimpin his wife out to random strangers. Often the husband will sit in the corner and actually videotape as his significant other gets pounded by foreign cock. Once the creampie has been injected, it's like 'all you can eat' night at Red Lobster. Yum yum eat em up.

02/21/09 Cuckold

Zombie Tits

I suppose titty fucking is out of the question?

02/10/09

Charred On The Outside

Medium-rare in the center.

02/07/09

I Lost My Cellphone In Your Vagina

I have this strong feeling that she ended up passing out with that phone still lost within her vaginal abyss. Yes I can see the headlines now: "Promiscuous college girl awakens in a drunken stupor to the sound of a ringtone echoing throughout the canals of her cunt. Surgical removal was necessary."

01/22/09 Insertions

Girl Gets Publicly Jizzed On

You always gotta be wary of those naked, middle aged men who like to prance about in red face paint. Snapping a few myspace photos with the aforementioned homosexual may seem tempting, but it's important you understand the risks involved. Watch and learn.

01/15/09 Public

Make Momma Proud

I'm pretty sure just about everyone gets caught having sex by their parents at some point in life. Well maybe not if you're an orphan, but it definitely happened to me. I was playing Tetris, level 34, as the neighborhood hoe performed fellatio on my Ultra Magnus. I put in a special request to mother for some Nachos Bell Grande, assuming I'd be finished prior to delivery. Needless to say my calculations were a bit off.

01/05/09 Busted!
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