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How Pornstars Get Pinkeye

The jizz of a black man infused with rectal juice? That's like fuckin battery acid. Kiss yo 20/20 vision goodbye bitch!

3,383,165 views 01/08/10 Fail

Seduction Fail

This is what your mom does while you're away at school.

4,382,022 views 01/05/10 LULZ

He'll Never Do Porn Again

Failure to achieve erection OR premature ejaculation. Those are the top 2 problems most men face when trying to perform on camera. It's usually one or the other... but in this chumps case - 2 birds are killed with 1 very tiny stone.

3,143,492 views 11/17/09 Premature

Anal Creampie From Hell

It's crazy. On the outside, assholes all look the same. But if your rectum was to ever head south & emerge as a pink-sock... you'd quickly find that much like the butt plugs in Oprah Winfrey's sextoy collection, they come in all shapes, sizes and colors. 4 years of running a porn site and that's about all I've learned.

1,850,369 views 11/11/09 Prolapse

Bitch! You Broke My Dick!

Fuck porn, she belongs in MMA.

3,759,106 views 11/04/09 Fights

Quit Fapping & GTFO

I guess he figured that once she laid eyes on his 7 inch yankee doodle, she wouldn't be able to resist and that a 'happy ending' would ensue. The Motel 6 guy actually shared the same ideology. Too much late night Cinemax porn can really fuck with your head these days.

3,538,614 views 10/09/09 Exhibition

The Most Miserable Pornstar Ever

Pretty sure I once saw this chick in a humanitarian commercial for Yugoslavian orphans. It's hard to forget a facial expression like that.... especially after fappin to it for 3 consecutive months.

2,253,104 views 10/07/09 Fail

Healthy Alternatives To Anal Sex

She rather suck off a fuckin golden retriever than take it up the butt. No joke. They even have an in depth conversation about dog cock just prior to the cumshot finale. Nothing like a little steamy dialogue to keep your noodle hard, right?

3,883,513 views 09/22/09 Meatholes Painal

Molested At Lunch Time

This is a scene from some stupid French porno called The Image. Stars that old bitch from 101 Dalmations as some sort of empowered cunt that likes to dominate. Kinda funny but not really my cup of tea. I was raised on the notion that degradation is a man's job.

1,793,857 views 09/16/09 Groped

Pornstar Quits Over Farting Incident

This is a scene from MEATHOLES, which was basically one of the most extreme porn sites on the web back in 2003-ish. It's funny. This girl can handle a fist up her cunt while the cameraman inquires about her childhood, but let one slip in her face and that's where she draws the line.

2,793,669 views 08/19/09 Meatholes Fail

Pornstar Hates Semen

No one said you had to like it baby. Just sit back, open wide and think about all the Baja Chalupas you'll be able to buy as soon as you're done. That's what gets me through the day.

1,520,081 views 08/17/09 Cum Haters

America's Next Top Pornstar

You stuttering, premature ejaculating son of a gun. Peter North and Ron Jeremy are already packing their bags.

1,654,767 views 08/16/09 Premature

Making Porno Is Serious Business

1,186,604 views 08/04/09 Fail

Hello, I'm Masturbating To You

Who needs porno when you have... fat black bitches in bathing suits? Pretty much everyone but this guy.

2,068,002 views 07/30/09 Exhibition

Life Support Porn

I've officially seen it all. Well, almost. Still waiting on that Brian Peppers sextape to surface. Till then, my hunt for fucked up porno treasure goes on.

1,960,330 views 07/12/09 Mildly Retarded

Sex Ed For Dummies

Usually these type of videos are designed for kids. This one's actually for adults... adults so dumb they can't tell apart their wife's pussy hole from an Arby's Beef N Cheddar. Skip to 3:38 and you'll understand.

1,413,360 views 07/11/09 Documentary

Not Your Typical Pornstar

He's got a viking haircut, a 7.5 inch cock and the pussy-eating skills of a Golden Retriever. The porn industry will never be the same.

2,338,874 views 06/08/09 Mildly Retarded

When Senior Citizens Attack

Had me ROFL'ing up until the point that he started bashing her face in like Mike Tyson. That was my cue to bust out the Jergens.

1,574,823 views 05/22/09 Vintage

The Most Obnoxious Bitch In Porn

I don't really give a fuck what anyone else has to say... domestic violence is always a solution. I'd pimp slap that bitch all the way back into the 80's, a time when her David Bowie hairdo was actually fashionable.

1,597,844 views 05/18/09 Fail

Pornstar Refuses To Do ATM

Sounds like a violation of a contractual agreement if you ask me. See ya on Judge Judy bitch.

1,473,048 views 05/16/09 Fail
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