Search results for long dildo

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Creampie Fail

8 ounces of boner brew emptied directly into the cunt gutter. Classy. Problem is.. when time comes to expel the cream filling, an off-menu item plops out along with it. Camerawoman goes completely mute after realizing wtf she's just filmed. Hilarious.

01/29/11 Fail

Long Lips

Beefy vaginas are a welcomed delight here on eFukt, but this particular post isn't about the meat curtains. It's about dimensions. Thats right. This twat measures longer than my own cock and while that might not be saying much, I'm confident you'll be impressed.

09/30/10 Gallery

Your Pussy Is Too Tight

Dude lasts as long in bed as DMX's acting career. Then tries to blame it on this pornstar's supposedly tight pussy. 'pornstar' and 'tight pussy'. Two words that really don't belong in the same sentence... but I digress.

09/05/10 Bangbros Premature

Dildo Causes Internal Damage

After straddling a butt plug as thick as a tree trunk, this chicks rectum starts oozing out blood like Owen Wilson's wrists after making another shitty movie.

I No Longer Hate Clowns

I was really expecting this chick to have one of those inconspicuous, slit-like vaginas.... not a corned beef gash [as depicted in picture #2]. Still hot as fuck though. She just needs to lay down some Crest Whitening Strips on that labia minora and she be aight. SOURCE: Lexi Belle

06/08/10 Gallery

Blumpkins Really Do Exist

Male pornstar goes where no male pornstar has gone before: to the bathroom... whilst getting his dick sucked. Sounded like a wet one too. Guess this ends the century-long debate that blumpkins are merely an object of fucked up folklore. Another score for modern civilization.

05/05/10 Fail

The Prune Brothers

The short story of an old hag and her epic battle with chronic constipation. Lots of raunchy anal in this one, along with constant reminders that the bitch is in dire need of a bowel movement. Some fuckin seriously amazing screenwriting here folks.

03/16/10 LULZ

Hi, My Penis Is 3 Feet Long

Shit. If my cock that was big, I'd throw on my limited edition Bugle Boy jean shorts and hit the boardwalk.

01/26/10 Asians

Hung Like Bart Simpson

Dildo Baggins here could've saved himself a lot of embarrassment if he just stayed home and stuck to beating off to reruns of Captain Planet. Now he and his 4 inch celery stick have ended up on the world wide web for all to see and laugh at. Live and learn brooo.

11/27/09 FuckTeamFive LULZ

Bitch! You Broke My Dick!

Fuck porn, she belongs in MMA.

11/04/09 Fights

Suicide By Dildo

Don't give up.... you're almost there.

10/27/09 Insertions

Ouch! My Cock!

Looks like women aren't the only ones to suffer injuries on the sets of porno shoots. Professional taco stuffers have a few occupational hazards of their own. I suppose that as long rectal prolapses aren't on that list, being a stunt cock is still my dream job.

02/04/09 Kink.com Fail

1 Guy, 1 Basketball

For centuries many will wonder - how did he do it? How did one man fit an entire basketball into his anus? Vigorous week-long training sessions? Nah. Optical illusion? Nope. Homosexual superpowers that transform one's rectum into a 4th dimension gateway? I suspect so.

01/26/09 Insertions

Baby Got Back

Her ass protrudes more inches than my dick is long. Anal sex just wouldn't be possible with this one.

01/20/09

Pornstar Nearly Impales Herself

Mullet girl doesn't seem to realize that a dildo this large is likely to cause internal bleeding. Had it actually penetrated her vagina - she'd go down in medical history as the first gynecology patient to have no need for a speculum.

12/17/08 Insertions

Stop Trying To Fuck Me

Usually when the girl flops around like a fish it means she's having a pretty intense orgasm and needs a quick time out. Dildo baggins here didn't get the memo.

11/23/08 Orgasms

How To Fuck Like A King

Damn. I could really use some service like this. At 325 pounds, I'm lucky if I can even find my cock, let alone put it to use. Sign me up for 2, along with 4 beefcakes to handle all movement.

11/02/08 LULZ

Fattest Pussy Ever

Her vagina looks a lot like a baseball mit, same color too. If you're gonna be 69'ing her with you on bottom, do yourself a favor and bring along a snorkel.

10/24/08 Beef Curtains

Long Like The Neck Of An Ostrich

I have dreams of my penis being that big. I see myself wearing loose fitted short shorts with my wang hanging out the side as I rollerblade by the beach. Jealous men shield their girlfriends eyes as my cock sways back and forth in the wind.

09/08/08 Big Dicks

But Youre My Brother Lolz

Vintage porno with family undertones makes me laugh. It also heightens my urge to be transported back to the 70's so that I can fuck the shit out of hippies along side mothers with beehive hairdos.

08/21/08 Vintage
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