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There Goes My Porn Career

Full video available from BangBros.

02/06/10 Bangbros Premature

Porno Accidente

Guess what goes wrong.

02/01/10 Fail

Hi, My Penis Is 3 Feet Long

Shit. If my cock that was big, I'd throw on my limited edition Bugle Boy jean shorts and hit the boardwalk.

01/26/10 Asians

How Pornstars Get Pinkeye

The jizz of a black man infused with rectal juice? That's like fuckin battery acid. Kiss yo 20/20 vision goodbye bitch!

01/08/10 Fail

A Colonoscopy Before Anal

Chester's awfully eager to do some butt fuckin but fears his wanky might come out lookin like a Snickers bar [bitesize of course]. Luckily this Jap has access to cutting edge medical technology - a Feces Detector 3000. Kinda gross, but I find his dedication to 'safe sex' rather admirable.

01/01/10 Asians

Pocahontas Accidentally Shits Herself

An Indian prostitute that speaks in ebonics and lacks basic potty training? Some women are just born to be on eFukt.

12/23/09 Hookers

Scat Fail

He was promised a 2 pound turd. Instead he was given a Chicken McNugget. Those be grounds for a fuckin refund.

12/20/09 LULZ

Gang Member Of The Year

He's about as good at rapping as I am at convincing fat chicks on Myspace that my semen tastes like Ben & Jerry's cake batter ice cream. Fucking oustanding.

12/16/09 LULZ

Orgasm Fail

Preggo girl is in the middle of cumming when her [minute] man declares that the apple sauce is en route for early delivery. She replies with a double "doo eet", which I believe means: "cum inside me so that I can finish my orgasm you twig dick motherfucker". The request didn't seem to catch.

12/08/09 Premature

Babysitting Fail

I wish my parents had been as considerate in their choosing of a babysitter. For 7 years they stuck me with Ethiopian dyke that wore basketball attire exclusively. Nearly left me with an inverted penis.

12/03/09 LULZ

Hung Like Bart Simpson

Dildo Baggins here could've saved himself a lot of embarrassment if he just stayed home and stuck to beating off to reruns of Captain Planet. Now he and his 4 inch celery stick have ended up on the world wide web for all to see and laugh at. Live and learn brooo.

11/27/09 FuckTeamFive LULZ

10 Inches Of Terror

That raspy lookin black bitch's reaction is fuckin PRICELESS!

11/24/09 Exhibition

The Sherminator

Props to the ginger on his pipe laying skills. Honestly haven't heard a woman scream that loud since the time I was caught defecating in front of Blockbuster in protest to late fees accumulated on my rental of The Neverending Story 3 (director's cut). Good times.

11/20/09 Orgasms

Bitch! You Broke My Dick!

Fuck porn, she belongs in MMA.

11/04/09 Fights

Endurance Fail

I like how he straight up bends his cock as a means to halt the ejaculation. It's a penis, not a fucking garden hose. Nice try though!

11/02/09 Bangbros Premature

BEEP BEEP! I've Got A Boner

Beating off at home is for pussies. Real men take their meat to the street.

10/25/09 Exhibition

Yo No Quiero Butt Fuck

I posted this awhile back but the clip was ruined by god awful Mexican music. Luckily an alternative version has now surfaced. Less Ricky Martin. More cries of pain.

10/20/09 Painal

A Hole In One

Fuck. I totally left out the headshot.wav file. God damn it.

10/17/09 Brazzers Fail

Quit Fapping & GTFO

I guess he figured that once she laid eyes on his 7 inch yankee doodle, she wouldn't be able to resist and that a 'happy ending' would ensue. The Motel 6 guy actually shared the same ideology. Too much late night Cinemax porn can really fuck with your head these days.

10/09/09 Exhibition
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