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Go Away Bro, I'm Masturbating

This is why I carry a 12oz bottle of my mace in my center console. Rest stops are great for quick 'on the road' jackoff sessions but they're almost always laden with dirty old men looking to score free peep shows. If they want to see me make love to myself, they gotta pay... otherwise it's mace to the face.

1,054,304 views 10/19/08 Busted!

No Bitch I Aint Eating Your Pussy

She tries to blame the fowl taste on the lube but that doesn't really explain the cheese whiz dripping out of her pussy. Douche with hydrogen peroxide + Mentos and get on with the show.

1,698,945 views 10/11/08 Fail

This Bitch Is Naked

1,075,406 views 10/07/08 Public

Good Porn Ruined By Shitty Music

It's a porno, not a god damn fitness video. Stop adding in the shitty keyboard-generated dance music, it drains out the sound of the woman crying and gagging on cock, which is an essential part of my fap session.

2,589,810 views 10/06/08 LULZ

I Wanna Be A Pornstar

A few tit jobs and a little lipo, and then BAM... her vagina will be generating 7 figures annually before you even know it. It'll also be generating a yellowish discharge, depending on the severity of the Herpes and Gonorrhea that she's bound to contract.

1,589,187 views 10/04/08 Modifications

He Can Suck His Own Dick

You think you've got it good? This dude has a curled mullet and a 7 inch cock that he can suck all on his own. Jealous right? Now before you do that semi backwards somersault, you should really read up on the dangers associated with autofellatio. Wouldn't want you to snap your neck or get some terrible STD.

2,078,096 views 09/28/08 Bizarre

Psycho Slut Spasms Out Of Control

This seems to be one of the rare instances where a woman can orgasm with little or no physical stimulation of the genitals. In this particular case, it looks like the deepthroating and/or gagging is what's triggering her orgasm.

2,324,944 views 09/27/08 Orgasms

Chef Boyardee Jizzes Upon Contact

Poor bastard, he's the real life version of the premature ejaculator from American Pie. I'd like to see him masturbate. All he has to do is poke his cock with his index finger and it's a done deal.

2,047,126 views 09/25/08 Premature

Tricked Into Having Gay Sex

Moral of the story: always be able to identify the person sucking your cock, unless you're totally cool with putting your sexuality in harms way. Some risks just aren't worth taking. See more guys tricked into being gay homosexuals on the BAIT BUS.

2,902,141 views 09/23/08 Bait Bus Gloryhole

Drunken Slut Has Hilarious Disaster

First off, this chick is drunk off her ass, and I mean that in a literal sense. She had a gallon of wine.. directly through her asshole. Now I always thought it was fun to poo on the floors of public restrooms, but this lady takes it to an all new level. If you've ever played Command & Conquer, think of her anus as the Ion Cannon.

2,167,073 views 09/18/08 LULZ

Search Her Pussy For Contraband

I love how this is a real procedure. They do it before admitting woman into correction facilities. Imagine having that job, getting paid to raid pussies for contraband. Imagine all the treasures you could find.

1,717,608 views 09/17/08 Groped

Youre Doing It Wrong

Wrong hole? No not quite. More like wrong fucking direction. His cock nearly pierces through the piece of skin seperating her ass from her pussy. Remember the 'chestburster' scene from Alien? Just watch...

1,959,598 views 09/15/08 Bizarre

Dying Orgasm

Just close your eyes and listen to the audio. Only time I've heard a man make sounds like that was in Al-Qaeda beheading video. See more from this awesome couple here: 1, 2 and 3.

2,042,272 views 09/10/08 Orgasms

Gangbanged On Reality TV

This is fake. This isn't a real gameshow and she isn't in real pain. 3 inch penises make girls laugh, not cry. Trust me, I know.

2,299,282 views 09/06/08 Asians

Two Feet Of Pain

He's got me beat by like one inch. Okay maybe more like 23 inches. I couldn't even satisfy a midget. But where I lack in size, I make up for with class and charm.

3,551,766 views 09/04/08 Big Dicks

Shes Gonna Get Vagina Cancer

Guadalupe may be LOL'ing now but that'll quickly change when she finds out her pink taco has emphysema. Tobacco kills!

1,484,470 views 09/03/08 LULZ

Bruno Stop Sniffing Her Pussy

Just imagine if that was an unneutered Golden Retriever... I think wifey would've quickly gained a strong understanding of the term "unwanted threesome".

1,782,068 views 08/29/08 LULZ

Oh Noes The Condom Broke!

I found this on some website that pays $2,000 for homemade porno. I'm kinda bummed... they rejected all 3 of my personal sextapes, citing that my 2 inch penis wouldn't appeal to general audiences. Ouch!

5,027,530 views 08/27/08 SellYourSexTape.com Amateur

Big Dick Syndrome

Aye carumba! Nice elephant cock dood! But I forsee 1 little problem... the only creatures with big enough holes for you to fuck are large horses and gay pornstars who've been subjected to olympian gangbangs. Tough break bro!

6,585,908 views 08/26/08 Big Dicks

Psycho Orgasm

A self induced orgasm leaves this slut flopping around like a fish out of water. Reminds me of myself when I lost my virginity, except I actually cried a litte. Tears of joy.

2,004,953 views 08/23/08 Orgasms
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