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Cumshot Fail

Tojiri "vertigo" Yamamato fumbles at the 3 yard line.

09/26/09 Fail

Healthy Alternatives To Anal Sex

She rather suck off a fuckin golden retriever than take it up the butt. No joke. They even have an in depth conversation about dog cock just prior to the cumshot finale. Nothing like a little steamy dialogue to keep your noodle hard, right?

09/22/09 Meatholes Painal

Pornstar Hates Semen

No one said you had to like it baby. Just sit back, open wide and think about all the Baja Chalupas you'll be able to buy as soon as you're done. That's what gets me through the day.

08/17/09 Cum Haters

Gangbanged By 251 Men For Nothing

The 90's - A time when fucking a quarter thousand men in the name of art somehow made sense. Talk about a resume booster!

08/09/09 LULZ

Blowjob Fail

It's semen, not battery acid. Embrace the saltiness and show some appreciation.

07/21/09 LULZ

Sex Ed For Dummies

Usually these type of videos are designed for kids. This one's actually for adults... adults so dumb they can't tell apart their wife's pussy hole from an Arby's Beef N Cheddar. Skip to 3:38 and you'll understand.

07/11/09 Documentary

Shotgun Blast To The Vajayjay

All I can think about is the people who jack off to this shit. I envision a crowd of a thousand Japs in a dimly lit adult theater, simultaneously ejaculating just as the girl's vagina gets blown into oblivion by a point-blank blast from a 12 guage. Enthusiastic high fives, everywhere.

07/07/09 Bizarre

Extreme Anal Maintenance

God damn. If only my girlfriend shared her habits... maybe then I wouldn't end up with shit in my urethra 3 times a week.

07/01/09 Bizarre

Don't Cum On Me Motherfucker

I wonder what that must feel like... to defend yourself from a physical assault as you're in the middle of ejaculating. I'd sue the bitch - 50k in punitive damages for an orgasm ruined. No one fucks up my fap session and gets away with it for free.

05/08/09 Fail

Help! My Boobs Are Too Big!

She basically paid over $10,000 just to have her titties butchered. What kind of sick, fucked up world is this?

04/14/09 Modifications

Half Woman Half Donkey

Not even for 10k would I stick my dick between those chompers. Mr. Ed would mistake my willy for a carrot and I'd get circumcised all over again.

01/03/09

LOL I Made You Gag

He seems pretty happy about his achievement. Try doing the same thing again except next time stick your cock in her ass first. When she comes up to blow you she won't gag, she'll just puke. It's called "ass 2 mouth". I invented it.

12/14/08 Fail

Death By Vaginal Cockroach

This is from a Russian film called Philosophy Of A Knife. It's about the Japanese Unit 731... the one that pretty much spent a decade coming up with ridiculous ways to kill people. It's basically just 4 hours of torture. Fun fun fun. While we're on the subject, I'm in preproduction on a post-apocalyptic thriller about punk rock necrophiliacs. Really could use some female talent. Hit me up!

11/19/08 Bizarre

Turkish Painful Anal

This one is a little open-ended. There's no money shot or anything, which gives us the opportunity to use our imaginations and draw our own conclusions. Perhaps she had a prolapse, ran off the set in humiliation, then went flat broke and turned to prostitution? Sounds about right to me.

10/22/08 Painal

I Wanna Be A Pornstar

A few tit jobs and a little lipo, and then BAM... her vagina will be generating 7 figures annually before you even know it. It'll also be generating a yellowish discharge, depending on the severity of the Herpes and Gonorrhea that she's bound to contract.

10/04/08 Modifications

Make Sure My Pussy Works

She hits up the doctor cause she's having difficulty getting pregnant. I'm no gynecologist but if shaved that bush her husband would probably have an easier time finding the right hole.

09/05/08 Documentary

She Cums Nine Times

The dude sounds Popeye the Sailorman and his old lady squirts cum like a water fountain. They were born for eFukt. Thanks goes to Rod for the video.

08/28/08 Orgasms

Pornstar Gets A New Vagina

Her vagina lips looked like they belonged in an Arbys roast beef sandwhich. This was bad for her career so she set out on a perilous journey to unbeef her pussy and close the gape once and for all.

08/17/08 Beef Curtains

Newbie Ruins A Porno Shoot

This guy genuinely thought that eating your own semen was socially acceptable. In France, yeah maybe. But in the rest of the world, no, people tend to frown upon the act of ingesting your own cum. Sorry!

He Can Make A Girl Cum

In the past few months the "how to make a girl cum" video has received over a million views. One of those viewers tested out the technique on his girlfriend and sent us footage of the results. Pretty cool!

07/16/08 Amateur
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