He's socially inept and has B cup titties. How can life possibly get any worse? If you guessed 'make a porno, creep the living fuck out of the girl, blow your load in 4 seconds and end up all over the internet", you just won my inflatable Captain Planet sex doll.
I've never seen a man so content with having only lasted 24 seconds in the sack. His sexual prowess has the runtime of a Tampax commercial... and all he cares about is using his woman's rump roast as a bongo drum set. Bares some similarities to THIS efukt classic.
It took 3 years and 117 attempts... but it happened. It finally happened. All he ever wanted was an audience. All she ever intended was to restock toiletries. Somewhere in the middle they found eachother, and from there it was love at first cumshot. Equally amazing video HERE.
He's got a stage 5 boner on a packed beach and straight up does not give a fuck. They flirt, they kiss, they jerk eachother off like they got 15 seconds left to live. Shits going reeeeal good... that is until... well, you'll see.
Early model Dodge Caravan and intermediate family member not required. Just find yourself an open stretch of highway, enable cruise control, have the female shimmy on over and let the greasing of your piston begin.
This girl is a total nymph. Bang her extra deep and you'll be rewarded with a sound you'd normally only hear in a fucked up Peta video. Hot shit. Now about this vid - it's from a site called Watch Us Fuck, created by a duo that's been documenting their own sex life since age 18.
Notice Tom Byron (dude on bottom) does all the thrustin, while the noob on top sits idle? Apparently the sensation of having another man's cock rubbing against your own proved all too much for this 1st timer. He immediately premature busts... and it lands all over Tom Byron's poor cock n balls!
Persian girl gets an accidental, no-lube blow to the rectum... most likely due to her male counterpart having the gut of a grizzly bear and not being able to see what the fuck he's aiming at. Or in other words... he tried to no-scope it and failed wonderfully.
This white trash tart has a speech impediment that's left her sounding like Stan's cunt of a sister from South Park. But that's okay. The bulk of her dialogue has been limited to "ouch" and "that hurtz muddafucka". I wouldn't have it any other way.
Downside of being 26 and still living at home: everytime youre about to unload some nutsack chutney onto your GF's face., momma comes a knockin! And of course there's always the other end of the spectrum - mom's with foot long dongs but no time to use em.
She's having anal problems of the fecal variety and it's fucking up the shoot. Her defense? All the butt secks is making her cum and she just cant contain herself. Uh huh. I know where this is going.
You see all these videos of dudes intentionally getting caught beating off by maids. Jolly good fun. Then you have this sad motherfucker... dressed up like Little Bo Peep and chowing down on a 15 inch rubber cock. Way to kill the trend. Thanks guy.
The novelty of having a 10 inch cock sure does fade quick when the head of your penis looks like a Platypus LOL. Rotate your dick 90 degrees and run it over with your Monte Carlo. You'll be aight. Video from ANAL IN THE AMAZON.
Ya know what... when you're stuck with 4.2 inch weiner and the endurance of that fat fuck from ABC's Lost... propositioning a random big-dicked black dude to bang your wife really might not be all that great of an idea.
I love how the dude stops laughing and goes completely silent once he realizes his girlfriend wasn't joking about having an orgasm. Sorry Peter, your cock just got one-upped by a cheap carnival ride. HUMILIATION.
Grandpa Willy's sexual escapade is derailed after the Mrs. makes an unexpected visit to his dungeon of spunk. After unleashing a fit of rage, a wild herd of Ukrainian hookers appear out of nowhere and make a run for the front door. One doesn't seem to make it. LOL.
Dude gets kicked out of a sex club after breaking an unwritten rule against blowing your load on other people's girlfriends. Yep. You can slam fuck her till she screams bloody murder, just dont get any semen on her brah. Shit aint cool.
One in the pink, another in the stink. That was the plan up until Gilligian and his clumsy noodle fucked it all up. You see, his cock fell off course and wandered south, resulting in an unexpected double vadge penetration - a sex move that didn't even exist at the time. Why are the most important discoveries in life always accidental?
One of the shittiest XXX films I've seen in my time... edited down to a cool 60 seconds. It's nothing amazing but fuck... it's got a plot revolving around accusations of sheep sex and worse acting than a Segal flick. How could I not post it?
Dude sobs like a little bitch after his sexual advances get shot down by a midol-deficient cam. Cue theme song from Family Matters. No wait, scratch that. I got a much better song in mind. Watch and see.
