Here's some wisdom I picked up while watching an infomercial for Tony Little's Gazelle Sprintmaster - always maintain good form. Sloppy form is how people get Christopher Reeve'ed. Don't think the same is applicable to sucking dick? Neither did she.
She's got a unique look. It's two parts concentration camp, one part Glamour Girls. If anyone's interested in a wager, I have Season 6 of Bill Nye the Science Guy on bluray that says my pet chinchilla drops bigger deuces than this chick. More of her HERE.
Working the graveyard shift usually sucks Golden Retriever dick, but it's not entirely absent of perks. During my tenure at the 24 hour Rite Aid, I enjoyed a 10% increase in pay and unadulterated access to the ice cream station. But as for complimentary blowjobs from tresspassing prostitutes... that one's all up to this smooth talking Apu.
UPDATE: this girl actually emailed me, here's the background story - she lives in a KKK-laden town where 12 inch black wangs are the forbidden fruit. Undeterred, she sought salvation on blackplanet.com and ultimately bit off more BBC than her vagina could chew.
This girl has 1 of the nicest racks I've ever seen. But bundle that with an extremely frigid personality & you then have the biggest disappointment since Macaulay Culkin's The Pagemaster. Seriously, this chick's so uptight she wont even do a facial. It's tragic.
I've always enjoyed the finer things in life, namely the Wendy's Cheddar Lover's Bacon cheeseburger, Cuba Gooding Jr. films and watching twats get used up like a Stretch Armstrong doll. Just watch.
It's all fun n' games till you got a 14 inch dong knocking on the pearly gates of your anus. The pain hits her like a bag of Saved By The Bell VHS tapes, but this trooper refuses to quit. Some might call it desperation for a quick $450. I prefer the term 'integrity'.
Poor chick. Freshly brainwashed by a 24 hour marathon of Pimp My Ride, she actually thought getting anally gangbanged by Jamal, Jamal, Jamal and Donatello would be fun. Thanks be to hemorrhoids, the reality check comes with the quickness.
She's half Korean, half Mexican. That means she's pro at math and will have around 17 kids by this time next year. Not really. This girl actually just likes to smoke weed and take pictures of her massive ass - both of which are combined today in ways you cant even fathom. OOOOH YEAH.
I recognize the lisp. It's the same jolly fucker from 'HARDER! Or I Cant Cum' with the unhealthy obsession for rimjobs. Glad to see he's still living life to the fullest - I.E. using your penis to bait, trap and murder insects up some hot chick's asshole.
Hemorrhoids and Scabies aside, Tanner Mayes is a pretty hot piece of ass. Too bad she's got an ego the size of Ned Flander's cock (massive). This video is a demonstration of what happens when The Cuntinator doesnt get her way. Crazy bitch is crazy.
I believe her first mistake was LOL'ing while getting passionately bulldozed by a 17 inch yogurt slinger. That kinda laughter tends to translate to one thing only - "your ion cannon does not phase me, please bash my ovaries harder". Invitation clearly accepted.
This is a scene from GANGBANGED 2. Blacks and whites combine penile forces for the greater good of ensuring Dana DeArmond's asshole will be forever loose. The interview that follows is quite interesting / fucking ridiculous.
Deleted scene from Un-Natural Sex 20 involving an ex-teacher looking to sacrifice the health of her colon in exchange for fame & fortune (aka $728 and maybe, just maybe, a Q&A with Swank magazine). Epic spoiler: things don't go as planned.
This one's a crowd pleaser. Not only get to see a massive-titted pornstar unwittingly suck a shit covered wang ... but you also to get hear three seconds of my real voice. Boner inducement on all fronts.
No stimulation of the clit. No vibrator in the pussy hole. This is a woman that can legitimately cum her brains out from nothing more than a good ol' ass pounding. God bless.
CHAIN REACTION: she gives a shitty blowjob > he retaliates by ejaculating in her mouth, (big no-no) > unexpected putrid jizz causes her to gag uncontrollably > heavy coughing puts pressure on already loose anus > splat, a Hershey Kiss is born. Similar video HERE.
The smaller the girl, the smaller the vagina. It's a pretty straightforward concept.. and it's officially now defunct thanks to this 91 pounds of pure skank. I'll put it plainly... looking into her twat gives me vertigo. It's that bad.
She's blessed with the rectal capacity of Richard Simmons. Obvious perks: 1) balls deep penetration with Wesley Snipes 2) forgo any and all defecation for years at a time and 3) you get to be epic drug mule. Perk #2 is where it's at. Check out her myspace in the source link.
