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The Headless Penis

What was once a sniper rifle is now a snubnose magnum. How'd that happen? Lemme guess... something involving farm animals and strategically placed peanut butter? It happens to the best of us.

2,724,849 views 12/13/09 Bizarre

Hung Like Bart Simpson

Dildo Baggins here could've saved himself a lot of embarrassment if he just stayed home and stuck to beating off to reruns of Captain Planet. Now he and his 4 inch celery stick have ended up on the world wide web for all to see and laugh at. Live and learn brooo.

3,859,766 views 11/27/09 FuckTeamFive LULZ

Anal Creampie From Hell

It's crazy. On the outside, assholes all look the same. But if your rectum was to ever head south & emerge as a pink-sock... you'd quickly find that much like the butt plugs in Oprah Winfrey's sextoy collection, they come in all shapes, sizes and colors. 4 years of running a porn site and that's about all I've learned.

1,852,592 views 11/11/09 Prolapse

Quit Fapping & GTFO

I guess he figured that once she laid eyes on his 7 inch yankee doodle, she wouldn't be able to resist and that a 'happy ending' would ensue. The Motel 6 guy actually shared the same ideology. Too much late night Cinemax porn can really fuck with your head these days.

3,545,098 views 10/09/09 Exhibition

The Most Miserable Pornstar Ever

Pretty sure I once saw this chick in a humanitarian commercial for Yugoslavian orphans. It's hard to forget a facial expression like that.... especially after fappin to it for 3 consecutive months.

2,256,902 views 10/07/09 Fail

The Elevator

I decided to reuse the sound bite from yesterday's clip. Who would've thought Robert Deniro's voice could so perfectly complete a video of a man retracting his nut sack to and fro? I know I know, it's amazing.

1,134,313 views 09/30/09 LULZ

Cunt Head

Yoshinoya lost his Rolex diamond watch up a hooker's fallopian tubes and sets off on a death defying expedition to recover it. Enjoy!

2,476,977 views 09/30/09 Asians

Salad Tossing 101

HAHA what the fuck! Just listen to this guy. He lured in his enemy with a blowjob and then shanked him. Fucking new age ninja tactics.

1,495,420 views 09/17/09 LULZ

Sharing Is Caring

Snowballing? Fuck that. I'd rather toss my girlfriend's salad directly after shitting out 2 pounds of kung pao chicken than be orally introduced to my own man jam. Too many calories bro.

1,590,785 views 09/14/09 LULZ

Orgasm Ruined By Momma

Dudes in the middle of busting a nut when Madea comes a knocking. This is why I jack off with headphones on. Nothing comes between me and glory.

2,324,549 views 09/02/09 Busted!

Pornstar Quits Over Farting Incident

This is a scene from MEATHOLES, which was basically one of the most extreme porn sites on the web back in 2003-ish. It's funny. This girl can handle a fist up her cunt while the cameraman inquires about her childhood, but let one slip in her face and that's where she draws the line.

2,797,017 views 08/19/09 Meatholes Fail

Pornstar Hates Semen

No one said you had to like it baby. Just sit back, open wide and think about all the Baja Chalupas you'll be able to buy as soon as you're done. That's what gets me through the day.

1,522,962 views 08/17/09 Cum Haters

America's Next Top Pornstar

You stuttering, premature ejaculating son of a gun. Peter North and Ron Jeremy are already packing their bags.

1,656,406 views 08/16/09 Premature

The Sex Offender Strikes Back

Interesting choice in victims. Random hot chicks, disabled senior citizens, and now ambulance drivers. Variety really is the spice of life.

909,342 views 08/12/09 Exhibition

Gangbanged By 251 Men For Nothing

The 90's - A time when fucking a quarter thousand men in the name of art somehow made sense. Talk about a resume booster!

2,648,886 views 08/09/09 LULZ

Husband Forced To Suck Cock

The forced homosexuality thing is the least of his problems. Just take one look at that haircut.

2,964,757 views 08/03/09 Cuckold

Chuck: The Pussy Slayer

For a moment there, it almost looked as though Chucky was gonna disregard her pleas for a cease-fuck and begin to commence rapage. Mr. Pringles said it best - once you pop you cant stop.

1,789,879 views 07/28/09 LULZ

The Sex Life Of A Dwarf

Repost? Technically yes. But the addition of Beetlejuice getting titty-blasted by some random bitch makes it well worth a second viewing. I promise.

1,920,361 views 07/25/09 Mildly Retarded

Blowjob Fail

It's semen, not battery acid. Embrace the saltiness and show some appreciation.

2,156,687 views 07/21/09 LULZ

Sex Ed For Dummies

Usually these type of videos are designed for kids. This one's actually for adults... adults so dumb they can't tell apart their wife's pussy hole from an Arby's Beef N Cheddar. Skip to 3:38 and you'll understand.

1,414,263 views 07/11/09 Documentary
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