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The Most Miserable Pornstar Ever

Pretty sure I once saw this chick in a humanitarian commercial for Yugoslavian orphans. It's hard to forget a facial expression like that.... especially after fappin to it for 3 consecutive months.

2,257,299 views 10/07/09 Fail

Symmetry Fail

Left one would make for a pretty good punching bag.

614,141 views 10/06/09

Supremacy Fail II

Did someone have a little too much King Cobra?

923,158 views 10/06/09

The Elevator

I decided to reuse the sound bite from yesterday's clip. Who would've thought Robert Deniro's voice could so perfectly complete a video of a man retracting his nut sack to and fro? I know I know, it's amazing.

1,134,463 views 09/30/09 LULZ

Cunt Head

Yoshinoya lost his Rolex diamond watch up a hooker's fallopian tubes and sets off on a death defying expedition to recover it. Enjoy!

2,477,147 views 09/30/09 Asians

Cumshot Fail

Tojiri "vertigo" Yamamato fumbles at the 3 yard line.

1,808,093 views 09/26/09 Fail

Healthy Alternatives To Anal Sex

She rather suck off a fuckin golden retriever than take it up the butt. No joke. They even have an in depth conversation about dog cock just prior to the cumshot finale. Nothing like a little steamy dialogue to keep your noodle hard, right?

3,888,097 views 09/22/09 Meatholes Painal

Titty Destruction

If you're among the minority of men that don't enjoy seeing Japanese women being beaten to tears, it's probably best you skip this one. These fun bags take more abuse than a Mexican pinata on May 5th.

2,272,844 views 09/21/09 Asians

Salad Tossing 101

HAHA what the fuck! Just listen to this guy. He lured in his enemy with a blowjob and then shanked him. Fucking new age ninja tactics.

1,495,540 views 09/17/09 LULZ

Molested At Lunch Time

This is a scene from some stupid French porno called The Image. Stars that old bitch from 101 Dalmations as some sort of empowered cunt that likes to dominate. Kinda funny but not really my cup of tea. I was raised on the notion that degradation is a man's job.

1,797,819 views 09/16/09 Groped

Sharing Is Caring

Snowballing? Fuck that. I'd rather toss my girlfriend's salad directly after shitting out 2 pounds of kung pao chicken than be orally introduced to my own man jam. Too many calories bro.

1,591,119 views 09/14/09 LULZ

Anal With Constipated Girlfriend

I'm always one step ahead of female biology. When I wanna ass fuck a woman, I simply lace her Cinnamon Toast Crunch with ex-lax. Come night fall, her cornhole is as empty as Tara Reid's head. Works every time.

1,816,606 views 09/09/09 LULZ

Orgasm Ruined By Momma

Dudes in the middle of busting a nut when Madea comes a knocking. This is why I jack off with headphones on. Nothing comes between me and glory.

2,324,806 views 09/02/09 Busted!

Supremacy Fail

SUPERIOR ...... at being fat. lol.

879,659 views 08/29/09

Macho Man Cries From Anal

This is FUCKING HILARIOUS.

1,720,523 views 08/29/09 Painal

The Super Soaker

When it rains... it pours.

2,121,156 views 08/26/09 Orgasms

Pornstar Quits Over Farting Incident

This is a scene from MEATHOLES, which was basically one of the most extreme porn sites on the web back in 2003-ish. It's funny. This girl can handle a fist up her cunt while the cameraman inquires about her childhood, but let one slip in her face and that's where she draws the line.

2,797,323 views 08/19/09 Meatholes Fail

Condom Fail

That's what happens when you buy contraceptives out of vending machines.

2,569,485 views 08/18/09 LULZ

Pornstar Hates Semen

No one said you had to like it baby. Just sit back, open wide and think about all the Baja Chalupas you'll be able to buy as soon as you're done. That's what gets me through the day.

1,523,282 views 08/17/09 Cum Haters

America's Next Top Pornstar

You stuttering, premature ejaculating son of a gun. Peter North and Ron Jeremy are already packing their bags.

1,656,601 views 08/16/09 Premature
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