I'm always one step ahead of female biology. When I wanna ass fuck a woman, I simply lace her Cinnamon Toast Crunch with ex-lax. Come night fall, her cornhole is as empty as Tara Reid's head. Works every time.
This is a scene from MEATHOLES, which was basically one of the most extreme porn sites on the web back in 2003-ish. It's funny. This girl can handle a fist while the cameraman inquires about her past, but let one slip in her face and that's where she draws the line.
All I can think about is the people who jack off to this shit. I envision a crowd of a thousand Japs in a dimly lit adult theater, simultaneously ejaculating just as the girl's vagina gets blown into oblivion by a point-blank blast from a 12 guage. Enthusiastic high fives, everywhere.
If Twitter was popular in 2009, a social media campaign could have made this a serious case for Depends Undergarment's first official sponsor of an amateur porn video. I consider it a lost opportunity really.
I wonder how often he accidentally breaks a girls nose doing all that high speed cock slapping? or does that only happen when the bitch stiffs him on his much deserved dollar tip?
I have this strong feeling that she ended up passing out with that phone still lost within her vaginal abyss. Yes I can see the headlines now: "Promiscuous college girl awakens to the sound of a ringtone echoing throughout the canals. Surgical removal was necessary."
You always gotta be wary of those naked, middle aged men who like to prance about in red face paint. Snapping a few myspace photos with the aforementioned homosexual may seem tempting, but it's important you understand the risks involved. Watch and learn.
Ever meet a girl who liked to make out directly after sucking your dick and/or swallowing your load? Here's how to combat this atrocious trend: Toss your girls salad and get some flavor going.
Mullet girl doesn't seem to realize that a dildo this large is likely to cause internal bleeding. Had it actually penetrated her vagina - she'd go down in medical history as the first gynecology patient to have no need for a speculum.
Usually when the girl flops around like a fish it means she's having a pretty intense orgasm and needs a quick time out. Dildo baggins here didn't get the memo.
I have dreams of my penis being that big. I see myself wearing loose fitted short shorts with my wang hanging out the side as I rollerblade by the beach. Jealous men shield their girlfriends eyes as my cock sways back and forth in the wind.
This is probably why you don't see that many male performers bragging about their profession... cause they all got warts on their dicks and have to eat out girls like this! Yum yums.
His snaggled toothed girlfriend can barely feel his cock so she keeps asking for it harder but she doesn't seem to realize that there is only so much you can do with 3 inches..
In the past few months the "how to make a girl cum" video has received over a million views. One of those viewers tested out the technique on his girlfriend and sent us footage of the results. Pretty cool!
This video really hits close to home. I too was once ridiculed for bustin my sloppy goo nuts prematurely. My ego was scarred and so was my penis (herpes). Watching this brings it all back.
I should probably visit Bosnia. If girls will drop their panties for dirty old scumbags like that over there, I might still have a shot at losing my virginity afterall.
