Dude gets kicked out of a sex club after breaking an unwritten rule against blowing your load on other people's girlfriends. Yep. You can slam fuck her till she screams bloody murder, just dont get any semen on her brah. Shit aint cool.
One in the pink, another in the stink. That was the plan up until Gilligian and his clumsy noodle fucked it all up. You see, his cock fell off course and wandered south, resulting in an unexpected double vadge penetration - a sex move that didn't even exist at the time. Why are the most important discoveries in life always accidental?
Everyone is born with a gift. Hers is a colon that doubles as a footlocker in between flights from Thailand to the good ol' USA. Watch in utter amazement as she demonstrates her maximum storage capacity.
Dude sobs like a little bitch after his sexual advances get shot down by a midol-deficient camwhore. Cue theme song from 7th Heaven. No wait, scratch that. I got a much better song in mind. Watch and see.
This is rather odd. I mean the dude gets caught pissing on the face of his 20 year old girlfriend by a lady older than Jesus and doesn't even bother to cover up. For a solid 10 seconds the old hag just stands there eyeing his cock. There's no embarrassment. No dialogue. Just one baffled senior citizen trying to make sense of a contemporary sex act.
An upclose look at the genitalia of a Brazillian gutterslut directly before and after having an intimate encounter with Jamal Jones Jr the 3rd. The rectal damage is top shelf.
This is the story of Lara Roxx - a French Canadian who's career as a hardcore pornstar was derailed before it even began. She contracted HIV just after her first shoot - which involved taking 2 fat cocks up the ass simultaneously... aka "double anal"... aka just beggin for a blood transfusion.
I cant even imagine how many jackoff sessions came to a halt after this saggy-assed dinosaur stepped in front of the camera. How the fuck are you supposed to beat off when 50% of the screen is devoted to the puckering balloon knot of a gay porn veteran? Honestly...
First he bulldozes her ass till his cock turns brown. Then he moves up an orifice and gives her twat some chocolate-coated TLC... which is pretty much guaranteed to result in a wicked case of vaginitis but lets not spoil the fun. All things come to an end after he asks the most amazing question ever uttered in a pornographic film - "who wants lasagna?"
The short story of an old hag and her epic battle with chronic constipation. Lots of raunchy anal in this one, along with constant reminders that the bitch is in dire need of a bowel movement. Some fuckin seriously amazing screenwriting here folks.
These men have truly mastered the art of sexually harassing migrant workers. Bravo. But I do believe it's time to take that next step forward - The Ritz Carlton. All white maids with 34d titties. Make daddy proud.
Chester's awfully eager to do some butt fuckin but fears his wanky might come out lookin like a Snickers bar [bitesize of course]. Luckily this Jap has access to cutting edge medical technology - a Feces Detector 3000. Kinda gross, but I find his dedication to 'safe sex' rather admirable.
It's crazy. On the outside, assholes all look the same. But if your rectum was to ever head south & emerge as a pink-sock... you'd quickly find that much like the butt plugs in Oprah Winfrey's sextoy collection, they come in all shapes, sizes and colors. 4 years of running a porn site and that's about all I've learned.
She rather suck off a fuckin golden retriever than take it up the butt. No joke. They even have an in depth conversation about dog cock just prior to the cumshot finale. Nothing like a little steamy dialogue to keep your noodle hard, right?
I'm always one step ahead of female biology. When I wanna ass fuck a woman, I simply lace her Cinnamon Toast Crunch with ex-lax. Come night fall, her cornhole is as empty as Tara Reid's head. Works every time.
