World's 1st Cum Hating Pornstar

1,668,703 views

Aim for dry ground and let 'er rip. That's been the formula for centuries... until Krystal "i have standards" Steal showed up. You see, she has more apathy for body fluids than Paula Deen has for low fat potato chippies. Ever wonder what it would be like if KFC had an all-you-can-eat buffet? That's the kind of 'sounds fun but always ends bad' disappointment I'm talking about here.

Uploaded 09/24/17 LULZ

krystal steal, cum dodging, pornstar, fail

Krystal Steal

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Awkward Moments In Porn 2

Like when you can't think of a description, cuz you realize everything you post is awkward... fuck.

5,587,997 views 01/17/14 Awkward Moments In Porn

Ever wonder how these girls are able to accommodate penises large enough to legally require airbags? HINT: They take painkillers. Lots of 'em. And I'm not talking about the kind that leave you looking like the cover of Alison Arngrim's “Heeere's Amy". (look it up)

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Ass to Mouth with Consequences

You gotta admire commitment in anything. This young lady was so devoted to the scene that when it came to anal, she soldiered through it. When it came time for the cum shot, she fellates his fecal flavored ram rod without hesitation.

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14 Incher Causes Gianna To Quit

I've never seen Gianna cave before, no matter how big the cock. It's as if her vaginal canal is made of Teflon, with more square footage than James Van Der Beek's forehead. But after watching this, I'm not so sure.

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HERE COMES THE PAIN

46,244 views 05/05/24

Seriously what the fuck is that

Skig tag? Tumor? Krang from TMNT? Fuck if I know, but whatever it is... it totally rubbed up against the other dudes thigh at the 1.38 mark, causing a half chewed Bagel Bite to be ejected from my mouth and on to my Where's Waldo themed keyboard.

4,187,315 views 08/19/12 LULZ

Prostitute Daughter with Vaginalitis

This little gem won several local awards in Yugoslavia for most realistic plot, best dialogue, and even most influential male and female role model.

1,970,271 views 05/01/14 Granddadz.com LULZ

2023 Was Out of Fucking Control

As we head towards the final sunset of a year that gave more than one reason to disembowel our own eyeballs with a stinger missile, it's time we reflected. May 2024 bestow upon us more trolls, deeper holes and Twitch.com finishing it's metamorphosis into Chaturbate.

1,796,541 views 12/28/23 Favorites

Double Anal Downfall

It's like the girl with the super hip mom that totally supports her daughter getting ring-blasted by guys named after sports cars got a pep talk and couldn't wait to bring it on the grid iron. Then gets jobbed out like the 2008 Detroit Lions. A Karen of the Kum world if you will. TY for listening to my cunTED talk.

1,913,706 views 01/18/21 Anal

The Unluckiest Guy in Russia

You know that feeling: When it's 0600 hours, the sun is shining, and you find yourself 4-inches deep inside the only girl that believed your story about using the same plumber as Zac Efron. In other words: Perfection. That is, unless Lucya "The Wolverine" Chernyshevsky is leader of the neighborhood watch.

1,898,050 views 12/08/20 Public

The Future of Horse Fucking

Why are we still here? Just to suffer?

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13 INCHER = RIDICULOUS ORGASM

Two petite Asians get the fried rice fucked out of em.

8,672,794 views 01/04/12 Ridiculous Orgasms