Creme Fraiche'd

Why is this Even a Thing?

Reminds me of something my grandpa used to say: Your output is only as good as your input. Not since the the trailer for Terminator Dark Fate have I been so disgusted with women over the age of 40.

THE FRIENDSHIP IS OVER

Daddy Fucks Me To Save Mommy

Welcome to the "Donnie Darko" of incest porn, where Daddy is either a psychological terrorist and a rapist - or a hero? It's all left up for interpretation.

Tina's Bad Day

Malnourished Virgin Has "Sex"

Was originally going to call this "A Gentleman's Guide to Investing, then quickly realized even Warren Buffet himself experiences deeper penetrations than whatever the fuck we just witnessed here. Seriously, dude was one wrong trajectory away from being featured in one of those JCS videos.

POWER OF CAWK

I feel like this has some deeper meaning than a porn parody of the exorcist. I just awed at it like it was a Salvador Dali painting or some shit, trying to figure out how my existence had brought me to this point.

Orgasm Induced Seizures: A Rare Phenomenon

Internet webcam hooker Bella Alice appears to suffer from acute reflex seizures triggered by sexual climax. She also uses a sound activated dildo that vibrates when people tip her which is funny af.

U GOT WHAT IN YOUR EYE

She just turned eighteen two months ago and got into porn as soon as possible. She never thought this would happen but luckily her co-star has some comforting words for her.

YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG

Here's some wisdom I picked up while watching an infomercial for Tony Little's Gazelle Sprintmaster - always maintain good form. Sloppy form is how people get Christopher Reeve'ed. Don't think the same is applicable to sucking dick? Neither did she.

The Worst of OnlyFanz

onlyfanz: Some sign up to get a girl through hard times. Others are forced after capitulating an attempt to pay prostitutes in Wendy's coupons. They all start off good, but much like me during Terminator Dark Fate, it only takes 27 seconds to realize you just wasted your money.

BUT I'M A VIRGIN!

The "Demon Pussy" girl is back in a new adventure in potentially one of the best and most retarded scripted porn scenes ever. Kevin Smith is sure to cum buckets over the dialogue alone.

Ratchet Compilation 2K17

Another edition of ratchet sex tape fails featuring hood rat stuff like fire alarms with dying batteries, one lopsided illegal butt implant and other ghetto stuff.