A Different Kind of Painal

Can't Stop the Pollock

Layin' pipe only has a few rules: 1) Look as little like Harvey Weinstein as possible 2) develop stamina and 3) maintain an erection harder than a bowl of Campbell's tomato soup. Not exactly a difficult list... but this Khokhol is determined to challenge at least 2 key items today. GG NO RE

Dad! I Don't Want To Fuck You!

Those crazy porn directors have made a full movie featuring the entire systematic sexual conditioning of ones daughter into a fuck buddy. All in magnificent POV. Disturbing? Sure. But is it fappable?

Bad Boyfriends 1

The upside to being treated like the exhaust pipe of a Chevrolet El Dorado? Literally nothing. All you have to do is breath and the alpha male fantasy fan fiction will magnetize to you like a herpes outbreak at a Playboi Carti concert.

Anally Destroyed French Milf

Another edition of "anal goes wrong", featuring the perforation of a fuckable milf's blown out colon. The city of love probably hasn't seen this much blood since someone made some cartoons last year.

The Future of Fucking

One country's quest for sexual satisfaction reaches it's peak, courtesy of a build-a-bear workshop for egg-drop rice boxes. It's hard to turn a blind eye to this actually being possible in 2020, but make sure this technology never makes it's way to Florida and you got yourself an investor.

Elena Koshka Overloaded

Symptom #67 that you've graduated from pornstar to full blown drama queen: 3 pumps from Manuel Ferrara's ham hog makes her tap out faster than the Frank Shamrock/Kevin Jackson fight (look it up). Like my reaction after hearing Oprah Winfrey wants to run for president, you can literally see fear in her eyes.

Thot Butthole Rekt by Prized Mandingo

She's got the body type of a holocaust victim and she came to the glamorous dog fart productions to film her first interracial anal scene. Srsly tho, "dog fart" has to be the fucking worst studio name in porno history.

2023 Was Out of Fucking Control

As we head towards the final sunset of a year that gave more than one reason to disembowel our own eyeballs with a stinger missile, it's time we reflected. May 2024 bestow upon us more trolls, deeper holes and Twitch.com finishing it's metamorphosis into Chaturbate.

Prostitute Lasts Only 28 Seconds

Technically she lasted closer to 10, but this guy isn't very fluent in "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", so that mahogany-stained browneye got pounded for a few more Missippi's than desired. Emphasis on mahogany-stained .

Anally Destroying a Mentally Disturbed Teenager

This whole glorious scene is a beautiful train wreck and I can't fucking wait to hear a epic drum and bass remix of this. EDIT: [Remix #1] [Remix #2]

MARRIED MEN DESTROY ESCORT

10 WTF Momentz in Pornography

Twice as many as five porn scenes that leave you with more questions than answers and more confusion than boners.