YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG

3,446,100 views

Here's some wisdom I picked up while watching an infomercial for Tony Little's Gazelle Sprintmaster - always maintain good form. Sloppy form is how people get Christopher Reeve'ed. Don't think the same is applicable to sucking dick? Neither did she.

Uploaded 03/15/12 Fail

Invaded, Violated and Victimized

In Pasadena no one can hear you cream. [-song-]

1,401,082 views 06/05/23 Parasited Bizarre

The Greatest Girl In The World

She's got the looks, she's got the body and she definitely has the talent. She can also use her vagina to keep your subs warm and hang a coat. Now she's stealing our hearts. Duck Tales. A woo ooh.

3,584,872 views 12/12/14 Modifications

Would Denmark Mafia be so kind as to turn the soundbyte at 0:24 into their next banger? That's the kind of collaboration that can fuel my beat-off sessions all the way into spring. More Woodman HERE and HERE.

3,477,049 views 11/19/18 Woodman Casting X Orgasms

The Deal Breaker

Classic case of overconfidence. If only he put as much effort into his hygiene as she did into Walmart bathrooms she choose to get tattooed in, then maybe this permanent mark on his resume could have been avoided. Live, learn and always wipe twice.

1,763,283 views 07/31/20 Fail

Pornstars Read Hatemail

I'm not totally convinced that all these girls have reached stardom. Also, I think Tabitha Stevens now qualifies for senior benefits, and one girl looks homeless, but whatever.

1,765,933 views 03/15/15 LULZ

Cum Haters 2024

Whole lot of tomfoolery going on here. While most girls will accept the fate of the firing squad they kneel down in front of, there's always an exception. Today there will be 14 exceptions.

841,591 views 02/29/24 Cum Haters

Interracial Dirty Talk Fail

Deep inside a forgotten SD card of anonymous's Aunt Tammy and Uncle T-Dog was a disaster-piece of American amateur porno history. Almost lost forever.

2,176,632 views 01/10/17 Fail

Broken by Bukkake

Pretty much a public service announcement on the importance of knowing your limits before inking a deal. Some live to tell the tale. Others, are memed for life. But all have an abnormally intimate relationship with Newport cigarettes and Klonopin before the age of 25.

1,767,523 views 01/31/22 Premium Bukkake Fail

Raw Leftovers

For my Japanese-deficient friends, the original title of this masterpiece roughly translates to: "Nana Maeno Refrigerator Girl I Put My Step Sister In The Refrigerator And Turned Her Into A Frozen Sex Toy Nana" Do I believe more than 3% of those words? No. But honesty never got in between me and my cum sock before, and it isn't about to start now.

995,231 views 01/06/22 JAVHD The Absurdity of Japanese Pornography

New Year, New Me

You know at one point in time her dirt tulip at full pucker was still smaller than the cock of an Eskimo in January. I want to know where that footage is. And more importantly, the followup video of John McAfee announcing her as his running mate for 2020?

2,108,516 views 01/01/19 Bizarre

Societal Decay Episode 1

Classic cases of unbridled overconfidence. If only these creatures put as much effort into velcroing their crotches shut in public, as they did into experimenting with pain medications: Then maybe these permanent marks on their resumes could have been avoided. Yikes and gadzooks.

1,965,326 views 10/01/20 LULZ