Seriously what the fuck is that

THE WORST BOOB JOB IN PORNO HISTORY

It's too bad they don't do returns or exchanges, because these tits look like fuckin' grocery bags with cabbages in them. UGh...would totes still smash, but holy shit them titties fucked up yo!

Awkward Moments in Porn 8

A special "BRUH" moment for clip #4. I honestly haven't seen a woman that concerned since I test ran the floor units in Home Depot's toilet bowl section after White Castle started selling their burgers by the hundreds. Let's just say I'm not allowed to improve my house again until 2027. TAKE IT AWAY CORPSEGRINDER.

Hungarian Thot Gets Taught

Some see this director as romantic and passionate, others see his films as pure degrading and exploitative smut. IDK personally, but watching him shoot a screaming jizz wad into her esophagus is pretty neat.

Uncle Dick-Dont-Fit

Sonuva bitch... dude's packing the kind of penis that can only be described as "an emergency every time I have to take a piss". Time to call up AARP and find out what size wheelbarrow they're willing to cover for this kind of disability. Something in a dual-wheel polycarbon should do it.

Rough Sex Accident

This 'top quality' penthouse hotel porn gets awful real fast. Some say his dick is too big, others say her holes are too small. If you were to ask me I would say LOLOLOL.

Sexual Socialism

What's mine is yours. And what's yours makes her think walking away from that 4-year degree in Anthropological Gender Studies of Amazonian Tree Frogs to do this instead was a bad idea.

Advanced Sex Moves 2021

I'm all for testing boundaries, but caution should be advised if you want to attempt any of these yourself. Tip: When testing those Special Team plays you saw online, it's best to practice first. PROOF: The $4500 bill I have for buying this.

Porn Star Goes Ballistic on Modern Feminists

Mercedes Carrera is hot and sucks a mean dick, but she's about to drop a big ass fuckin truth bomb on the problem with feminists, gamergate and all that shit.

The Socially Awkward Teenager

When it's a girl's first time doing hardcore porn and she's too nervous on camera to put two syllables together, you get what I imagine to be the closest experience to fucking a corpse you can have without taking a trip to the morgue. Luckily the awkwardness only makes me harder.

THAT DIDN'T END WELL

Awkward Moments In Porn 7

Eight times pornography actually shocked me. Okay maybe just one time. Specifically #3. While the others have come and gone, this little gem remains unexplained.

BUT DADDY IT HURTS!

Backpage's finest goes by "daddy's baby anal queen" and she aspires for greatness via her butthole. The only problem is she hates anal and her possibly worm-infested colon is so tight, it's like trying to fit an elephant in a Safeway bag.