The 18-Second Man

How to Get Banned from the Military

Leaking classified information? Mumbling incoherent rants about setting third world countries on fire? Shit, even International Dick Cricket Infestation would have appeared on my list sooner than 1 Tinder gremlin subjecting herself to 31 separate 8-man gangbangs in the fucking barracks. Yet... here we are.

Just Tha Tip

Shane Diesel the type of nigga that gotta stand when he poops or his dick floats in the water. His dick so big he can't even go balls deep on these professional cock smugglers without causing serious internal injuries.

Stronger than Viagra

Found this gem in the Italian film "Capodanno in Casa Curiello", which roughly translates to "New Years at Grandpa's House". Think combining the gothic undertones of The Adam's Family with the threatening erections of Boogie Nights wouldn't work? You thought wrong faggit.

Internet Porn Was A Mistake

Human Toilets & The Non Fungible Assholes. No, that's not the name of the next great Portland garage band, however the post-view flea bath is still required. The smell of Drakkar Noir and Astro Glide may come out of those walls, but... the stories. The stories are forever.

Unacceptable Devices II

Inflation is nearing 9% and you're burning through c-notes so you can Rube Goldberg machine your way into the Guinness Book of Degenerate Orgasms? Someone send this to Dave Ramsey, I want to see him shit his economically priced pants.

Public Degeneracy Volume 1

More than a baker's dozen worth of mentally-ill fueled societal taboos so unprecedented, you'll have to rethink your entire post-Delta variant plans for next summer. Don't be fooled by some of the smiles on these faces; Everybody was harmed during the making of this video.

A LITTLE TOO REAL

Ratchet Sex Tape Fails

Ratchet is what you get if a "ghetto hood rat" and a "chicken head" have a fatherless child that becomes a stripper or aspiring rapper with Tupac quotes for tattoo's and eight ratchet kids of their own.

I Got A Husband

From the bowels of world star hip hop comes a little gem that's straight outta Compton! Staring a wild wildebeest that has been caught fellating a local hoodlum in the middle of the street. Some real ratchet shit yo!

Public Sex (and FAIL)

Ron and Jon, still cooling down after an intense night of Minecraft & diet Mountain Dew, stumble upon on a sorority skank mid-coitus and decide to wreak havoc. 10/10 for the sombrero alone.

The Most Eccentric Man on Pornhub

1. gold-phish 2. Speilberg 3. Coppola

10 Inch Challenge = Demolished

It seems Allie Addison's apprehension levels are at zero, giving her little trouble with broski's maximum depth potential. And by little trouble, I mean the kind of potential organ rearrangement Art The Clown would be proud of.