Human Toilets & The Non Fungible Assholes. No, that's not the name of the next great Portland garage band, however the post-view flea bath is still required. The smell of Drakkar Noir and Astro Glide may come out of those walls, but... the stories. The stories are forever.
Blue-balled midgets, schizophrenic autists, Miley Cyrus' fan base... this woman's sexual clientele is more well-rounded than IHOP's farmhouse breakfast. Unfortunately there's no visuals of penetration. But what it lacks in nightmares... it makes up for in California's voting pool.
The "South Floridian's Guide To Dating Your Cousin" or Kylie Island dropping that new fetish DLC? You're probably waiting out the future aftermath videos from her now. The kind that can also be achieved by renting a John Deer tractor and filling her with Oxycontin. But where's the chivalry in that?
Sorry to all competing rookies out there trying to cover the Vagisil bill: This is the type of content you need to be producing now. Those glory days of not acting like somebody hooked a lawn mower battery to your fallopian tubes to get attention are over. Devon... get the Flex Tape.
What's hung like a Clydesdale and knows less words than a Pokemon? He's known simply as Vlad, and 37 states require a permit to walk around with that fucking thing in public.
Some women that happen to look like rejected "Lord of the Rings" characters find themselves in a cheap hotel room, making a porn movie so atrocious that even the producer wouldn't show up to film it.
Sonuva bitch... dude's packing the kind of penis that can only be described as "an emergency every time I have to take a piss". Time to call up AARP and find out what size wheelbarrow they're willing to cover for this kind of disability. Something in a dual-wheel polycarbon should do it.
I've seen a lot of desperate girls do a lot of desperate shit just to keep their ManyVids account submerged in dollarinos... but risking life and death and a clean record just to keep cOrNhOlEsniFFer69 entertained? That's a level of slut I hope to never meet.
Shane Diesel the type of nigga that gotta stand when he poops or his dick floats in the water. His dick so big he can't even go balls deep on these professional cock smugglers without causing serious internal injuries.
These overseas full force fuck fantasies videos are starting to get a little disturbing to be honest. And like one of the greatest voices of our generation once taught us: you never go full force. More questionable bean flicking material HERE.
Jackass-inspired stunt involving a weapons-grade slingshot and some cactus goes horribly right when the target, (a gypsy woman's anus), is met with a direct hit. And now I'm met with a direct boner. Circle of life.
Oi vey, a lost little boy with a shaved ass hops on the bang bus to get seduced and humiliated by a porn goddess. She plays with him like he is just her own personal dreidel of lulzy love.
