Sex On The Beach FAIL

Nazi Cuck Porn

I'm not sure what kind of a person scripts a pornography scene about a nazi struck by white guilt and letting a "jungle bunny" fuck his racist wife for reparations... but they deserve an award.

Diet WIN

She's got a unique look. It's two parts concentration camp, one part Glamour Girls. If anyone's interested in a wager, I have Season 6 of Bill Nye the Science Guy on bluray that says my pet chinchilla drops bigger deuces than this chick. More of her HERE.

"CRIPPLE MY WIFE"

Increase Orgasms While Committing Murder [5 Easy Tips]

Somewhere there's a porn writer that has lost their damned mind.

The Biggest SIMP on Planet Earth

A look back at a camgirl addiction so extreme, it cost Grant Amato hundreds of thousands of dollars, the trust of his family members and a lifetime prison sentence. It's basically the modern day Romeo and Juliet.

Accidental Cum Shot

Noob's first and final attempt at porn stardom lands him in a gang bang shoot. He doesn't care, he thinks he's ready for anything... but nothing can prepare you to be a premature ejaculator's innocent bystander. PEW PEW

Downs with the Sickness

Impressive method acting on his part to be honest. He's got that 'my mother, sister and John Deer push mower are all the same person, so I listen to The Black Eyed Peas on vinyl' look down to a science. Unrelated question: Does gonorrhea cancel itself out if you get it twice? Asking for a friend.

The Art Of Hating Cum

Here it is. The Citizen Kane of ewww your semen tastes like Gene Wilder's deceased asshole. Actually, I'm not entirely sure whether or not Gene is deceased, but I trust that the implied mental image is effective all the same.

The Pump Master

Meet Scott Taylor. Today Scott is a well respected porn mogul, but that wasn't always the case. Flashback to the glory years of 1985 and witness the Billy Mays of penis pump salesmen.

Uncle Dick-Dont-Fit

Sonuva bitch... dude's packing the kind of penis that can only be described as "an emergency every time I have to take a piss". Time to call up AARP and find out what size wheelbarrow they're willing to cover for this kind of disability. Something in a dual-wheel polycarbon should do it.

Traumatizing Moments in Amateur Porn

More than enough reasons (see: 1) to never "try that thing i saw on the Internet with my girlfriend". Somewhere between the beef bazooka blowouts and frantically Google searching "how to get cat litter out of my vagina" you'll lose that last shred of dignity Dr. Phil is always screeching about.

The Most Talented Girl In Russia

Moscow drug mule gets into a personal world war with her own rectum, most likely the result of an all kholodets diet (look it up). Jiggy Saw himself once said: "When there's that much poison in your blood, the only thing left to do, is shoot yourself." In other words; She attempted to no-scope and succeeded beautifully.