It took 10 years, but we finally have a worthy rival for Tojiro "dribbledick" Akizawa. Technically our American contender lasted longer, but his performance wasn't exactly as well-received lolol
The rules of engagement have changed. If you want attention in 2024, it's going to take a lot more than hangin brain in the checkout line at Hot Topic. So sit back and take notes ladies: It's this kind of work ethic that springboards you from "girlfriend" to "girlwife".
Do their porno dreams come true? Fuck no. Instead, four average-ass mother fuckers attempt to make sex with the prestigious Christy Mack, and each and every one of them brutally embarrasses themselves.
Think your marriage is in trouble? Time to reevaluate things, Ham Hock. Today we have a pioneer of female empowerment that does it all. And by all I mean a.) buttsex b.) buttsex while wearing her wedding ring and admitting it on camera. yikes = big
Consider this a 4 minute tutorial on why you should always stay away from those folks that consider a $50.00 Mernard's gift card a form of foreplay. Remember Norman Vincent's words: “Always shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll still land among the hepatitis."
This example of why you should periodically review your fiber intake, goes by the name Baby Swabery. Due to her age, I'll be approaching this description accordingly: no cap the jumbo deluxe chimmichanga lunch special was a mf'n mistake, fr the situation is NOT bussin.
For a guy that regularly goes super saiyan on bench warming OnlyFans girls, you'd think he'd have a pretty consistently heterosexual record under his belt. Well... [more here]
This is a pretty amazing scene right up until the point when it becomes one of the best cum shot fails of all time. Imagine the glorious feeling of having your penis sucked -- now imagine that feeling being destroyed right when it counts.
Leaking classified information? Mumbling incoherent rants about setting third world countries on fire? Shit, even International Dick Cricket Infestation would have appeared on my list sooner than 1 Tinder gremlin subjecting herself to 31 separate 8-man gangbangs in the fucking barracks. Yet... here we are.
"I'll tell ya one thing about my personal life that I've never told before. I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos. And I think that ought to count. I think that ought to go in your record as a positive achievement." - George Carlin
