This girl is ridiculously cute. I want to hold her hand. I want to smell her hair. I want a 3x5 inch cut-out of the computer chair fabric that was blessed with her vaginal discharge. Until then, this gem will have to do.
Want hard proof that humans are still all about charity? Look no further friendos. This scumcunt offers some locals the ultimate handout: A free reminder to get yourself STD tested next time you go reaching for those frozen Reese's Cups. You can find her new profile HERE.
If there's a book out there on what NOT to do during intercourse, I'd say this dude just paved the way for a fucking trilogy. Nevermind his Rosie O'Donnell-like figure, or his unsettling fetish for floppy disks. The real prize is at the 2.48 mark. Ladies and gentleman, this motherfucker just single-handedly brought back Planking.
Perhaps 'audible' is the wrong word to use here, as it suggests this misfit anticipated the scene going any other possible way. She didn't. Trust me. I've been inside a Walmart parking lot on a Friday night - I know what I'm talking about.
How does one earn such a title? First, be Serenity Haze. Then sign up for porn. Then refuse to do porn stuff. Finally, accuse the producer of rape and get caught lying over and over.
That's it man. As far as I'm concerned vegans have officially jumped the plant-based shark. Not even at the height of one of my patented Acid Trip + Red Lobster Biscuit wombo combo benders did I envision something as despicable as this going behind a paywall.
I've seen this configuration before. Okinawa birth certificate, Chevy-Silverado endurance. I'd refer to Alexa for a proper translation, but Amazon hasn't released the Aspergers DLC yet so you're just gonna have to fill in the blanks yourselves, compadres.
April Foolz 2016 marks the decade anniversary of eFukt. I want to tell all of you thank you and at the same time you're fucking welcome! Here's to the best fan base of all time!
You know that feeling: When it's 0600 hours, the sun is shining, and you find yourself 4-inches deep inside the only girl that believed your story about using the same plumber as Zac Efron. In other words: Perfection. That is, unless Lucya "The Wolverine" Chernyshevsky is leader of the neighborhood watch.
Losing an 8 inch dildo in in a girls ass can have some consequences beyond fecal flavoring. If you can't get it out, the shoot is over and it's an awkward trip to the hospital with an unhappy porn star.
"Django the Fifth's Revenge" is the story of a self-proclaimed "black cock slut" on a mission. Notice the highly viscous load of seminal fluid dangle dancing off her chin the whole scene.
