Pornhub's Biggest Deviant

That's it man. As far as I'm concerned vegans have officially jumped the plant-based shark. Not even at the height of one of my patented Acid Trip + Red Lobster Biscuit wombo combo benders did I envision something as despicable as this going behind a paywall.

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The Most Unfuckable Woman on Planet Earth

Every so often I come across an individual that makes me ask: How much tarantula fucking middle aged misguided trailer park moonshine did they drink before this became a good idea? It's like someone took Rosie O'Donnell and made it harder to see her naked.

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Woman With Half a Body Attempts Coitus

I hope she makes it in porn because if not, she doesn't have a leg to stand on.

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The Caught Compilation 2

Peeping Toms, Darling Nikki's and other miscellaneous perverts getting hilariously interrupted in the middle of trying to bust nuts.

Awkward Moments in Porn 10

Pork sword bros break the first rule in Ghostbusters 101, clown horn honking gets a new identity and whatever the fuck fight the girl at 1:12 is practicing for is something I feel should be featured on this site in the future. Somebody fetch my finest Walmart polyester linen, I wish to ejaculate.

Amateur Pornography Is Weird

hmm, strange. Here I am thinking the whole "i'm training to turn my uterus into a parking garage for hellcats" was no longer a lucrative financial path worth pursuing. And then the last girl went ahead proved me wrong.

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Turns out there's literally no shortage in people that consider the piss-soaked alley underneath an active freeway a 5-star romantic experience. So, don't consider today's episode an attack. More like, a celebration of the open-minded. And AIDS.

Ultra Beta

This is ridiculous. Not 'haha-ridiculous' like a slab of society identifying as non-binary lesbian toaster strudel. Dude has zero reaction to strangers stuffing his girl like a Walmart ham, and here I am just waiting for David Attenborough's explanation as to why.

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OFFICIAL: The Most Vile Girl on the Internet

Some women require foreplay to get off. Others, Little Caesars 5 for $5.00. And then there's Jessica Carrboro aka The Crotch Vampire, who takes no less than a scoop of organic strawberry swirl to get moist. I say this with complete sincerity: You're not ready for her.

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Olympic Level Creampie

"Every choice comes with a consequence. Once you make a choice, you must accept responsibility. You cant escape the consequences of your choices, whether you like them or not, no matter how deep the rabbit hole goes." - Roy T. Bennett

OK SO WHOSE NEXT?!

AKA "how to ruin your reputation on a global scale." Usually it's a good thing if everyone gets laid at a party... but not when they all fucked the same chubby std collector.

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Hilarious Oral Sex Fail

College level alcoholism and risk seeking behavior has led them to a ratchet motel, wasted off vodka red bulls and making a quick $100 each. Shouldn't be any surprise that these girls never did porn again.

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