Never Happens At My Hardware Store

Never Happens At My Hardware Store

Uploaded 10/24/18
Related Videos

Cucked to Tears

First time I've seen a wife rental video where the girl and her hired gun are left more humiliated than the husband. 7 1/2 inches of New Orlean's finest essentially left them completely mute, save for some sobbing that is usually reserved for the customer service desk at Lululemon. Hilarious.

02/07/20 Cuckold

Awkward Moments in Porn 11

Flattery was never my strong point... and it still isn't. Half the decisions here look like they were made by a person that smokes wet Newports, and yet everyone is chowin down like it's grandma's old fashion applesauce. Your fellow Walmartians will be hearing about this.

Bad Boyfriends 2

Dude at the 2:00 mark must have went as Apocolypto for Halloween in 2006 and forgot to take the costume off, and I have no doubt our Scottish socialite's rectal contractions look like they just graduated a course in sign language. Go ahead and tell me nice guys actually do win again?

11/10/22 Crazy

REAL: Anal Virginity Lost On Camera

Another glaring example of the power of positivity. Maybe off camera she spends all day yappin like her defenses are impenetrable, but 1 goink to the wrinkled copper slot didn't make her hit windows_shutdown.wav and we should be proud of that. Reminds me of another [future diaper diva].

Orgasm Induced Seizures: A Rare Phenomenon

Internet webcam hooker Bella Alice appears to suffer from acute reflex seizures triggered by sexual climax. She also uses a sound activated dildo that vibrates when people tip her which is funny af.

Horribly Catchy Musical Pornography

In Russia, a fake farm equipped with disco lights and some thot lip syncing catchy dance music while fucking for 20 minutes is quality porn. I'm not totally convinced, but the song does have a 'pavlov's dog' effect on my boner now.

02/05/15 LULZ

Stacked and More Socially Awkward 18-year-old

You clicked the original one so many damn times, I had to dive deeper into her discography. Unfortunately it turns out all her roads lead to this evolutionary cul-de-sac using her as the only form of exercise he's seen since Jock Jams was a thing. Don't look that up. [-PART I-]

Shit Pornstars Say 1

Lulz tier verbal diarrhea from the worlds top experts. It's a good thing emotional scars aren't visible on the outside or some these girls would look like Freddy Kruger.

Australia Banned this Movie

I don't even know what's worse: $100,000 dollars being sunk into this abhorrent hunk of cinematic shit... or the fact that it blows away the last 4 seasons of The Walking Dead in both action and character development. #bringbackshane

06/01/18 Extreme

Fent Demon Takes Over House

Our boy is having domicile problems of the synthetic drug variety, and it's fucking up his after-work Roblox clan war. The charges? Breaking and entering, aggravated harassment, disorderly conduct and skidmarking Target's finest bedroom linen. Tensions rise, police are called, I laugh. Pretty funny shit.

03/09/23 Crazy

My Dead Sugar Daddy Made Me Millions

The insane story of an emotionally disabled prostitute/pornstar/sugar baby/urinal-for-hire with HPV and herpes that literally wrote the book - 9 times. She claims her dead sugar daddy made her a millionaire and now haunts her... wow.

04/01/19 Hookers
Type ? for random video