Female Empowerment and Porn

Go ahead and label this the blurring of lines between equality in the work place and PTSD, as illustrated by sex acts that have led more adult diaper sales than In n' Out's Animal Style. Never before has adult entertainment made me prouder of my cataclysmic cache of Walmart rewards points.

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The Special Needs Prostitute

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The Milf From Mars

Bittersweet painal, obscenity-filled orgasms, and a boob job predating the bicentennial. This ones got it all, and Ms. Big Ole Leathery Funbags earns some serious bonus points at the 2:35 mark.. Not even a fuckin rectal injury can dull her desire for ATM.

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My Dead Sugar Daddy Made Me Millions

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She escaped communist China in search of a better life. Only to find herself in a Detroit warehouse angrily jerking off dudes and giving unhappy endings.

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Porn's Biggest Losers

Little engines that just fucking couldn't. If there was a "Special Olympics" for sexual performance, these guys would still be the underdogs of the league.

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"The Biggest Whore In History"

For a hooker/pornstar, she honestly seems like one of the nicest people ever. Even if her butthole looks like the queen alien from Starship Troopers.

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