Tojo trades his neighbor a weeks worth of cup-o-noodles in exchange for a sensuous dicksuck. Here's the kicker: Tojo has the hygiene of Forest Whitaker's asshole. Dude simply does not shower. The end result is enough dick cheese to feed half of Mumbai.
I imagine this is what happens when all of your knowledge of the English language comes from Pizza Hut commercials and TikTok. In fact, I may have just uncovered a form of communication so useless that California colleges might start offering 4-year degrees in it.
Nevermind the fact that she talks like a slightly upgraded version of Stan's sister. What I really want to know is where this current trend of bodily fluids being used as a sole protein source started from. And I want to know now.
This condition is more commonly known as "high maintenance". It happens when all your sexual experience comes from Ikea tutorial videos, so you seek the refuge of desperate males and develop less communication skills than The Undertaker. #sadtbh
My first pay-to-play happened in a Burger King toilet stall. She was more Kurt Perry than Katy Perry, Kinda foul. Not even a triple replay of Heather Graham's bush in Boogie Nights changed the mood that night. But... if I had this guy's attitude? Life... life would be different.
Here it is: Martin Scorsese of Japanese what are you doing step-bro? porn. My thoughts? Guillermo del Toro and his production company have some catching up to do. I don't know wtf I just watched but personally, I think he should find a way to cast the Olsen twins in the sequel and let the tapioca fly.
If you ever pondered what a Japanese version of Daria Morgendorffer would look like amidst an adult motion picture then this is for you. For the rest of us civilized individuals, we will only be watching for educational purposes.
Not the caliber of female I expected to see on the angry side of Simon Belmont, but I'll roll with the fantasy. Unfortunately there's no aftermath footage, but I would have to imagine by the time this was over it looked like she masturbated with a stick of dynamite.
Fangirl shits pinecones after overhearing pornstar Brian Pumper refer to her as a 'bitch'. Blows are exchanged & shit gets ugly, but the real battle is all verbal, with ego-busting insults like "u think i wud tweet about u? I FUCK MOOLIONAIRES NIGGUH". Fucking brutal.
