Tojo trades his neighbor a weeks worth of cup-o-noodles in exchange for a sensuous dicksuck. Here's the kicker: Tojo has the hygiene of Forest Whitaker's asshole. Dude simply does not shower. The end result is enough dick cheese to feed half of Mumbai.
Watch these little engines that just fucking couldn't get a new hold on reality as S-tier pornstars turn their sexual fantasies into humiliating nightmares.
So you think Dr. Phil has covered all the bases of marital disasters? Well it's time to reevaluate bitch. These pioneers of female empowerment do it all. And by all I mean everything except give us the long awaited sequel to Karen's Krapper: Volume 27. Alexa, play Big Bottom by Spinal Tap.
If you're into the kind of overseas erotica that reminds you of force feeding yourself 9 seasons of Scrubs in hopes of seeing Elliot's death spiral into backdoor Max Hardcore porn... then this is probably for you. どういたしまして Dōitashimashite
Most erections won't make it past the fact that this Snorlax shovels in 5,000 calories per day - and trust me, it doesn't get better. Congratulations Tammy you've officially outdone Game of Thrones for most offensive climax of 2019. Fire up one of those burrito milkshakes, today we celebrate.
You originally saw her at the end of [Public Degen 12]. Turns out this misfit has a treasure trove of historical content featuring her getting kung pow'd by the general public in all kinds of places you should never be caught slamming ham in. Maybe next time she can participate in the west's most notable pastimes: Cuckolding within 300 yards of a 7-Eleven.
What weighs 325 pounds, has hair worse than Phil Spector, and secretly enjoys getting karate-kicked in the appendix while ripping ass? This chick's 798th fuck buddy, and he's not even the worst of the bunch.
If you ever pondered what a Japanese version of Daria Morgendorffer would look like amidst an adult motion picture then this is for you. For the rest of us civilized individuals, we will only be watching for educational purposes.
There's only one reason people storyboard, shoot, edit and upload this kind of shit to the Internet. And it lives somewhere in between "I need to pay my taxes" and "$1 dollar pizza slices make me shit blood". Just three of life's little guarantees. More: [-1-] [-2-] [-3-] [-4-] [-5-] [-6-] [-7-]
See that rush of fear around the 3:00 mark? That's the kind of reaction second only to a man that has miscalculated his maximum capacity for P.F. Changs Orange Chicken in a public venue. And I think that's something we can all relate to. L, OH, fuckin L
This actually starts off as a painal vid, but much like Cuba Gooding Jr.'s acting career, that only lasts for about 14 seconds. From there on it's all pleasure, and by 'pleasure' I mean nervous system-disabling assgasms so hot even Stephen Hawking would pop wood.
