Noob's first and final attempt at porn stardom lands him in a gang bang shoot. He doesn't care, he thinks he's ready for anything... but nothing can prepare you to be a premature ejaculator's innocent bystander. PEW PEW
Let me formally introduce you to GM. aka Grandpa Merrick. aka Wrinkle Rocker. aka Mr. Steal Yo Girl. Rather than live out his twilight years chasing dusty jellyfish, he wakes up every day and chooses violence. And intravenous Cialis.
She pretty much aces the whole 'prostitute on camera' thing except for one small detail: This newbie pornstar's lady cum has a really unique... consistency.
One of those rare moments where I can overlook the obvious health code violations because the performance is legendary. Be sure to leave them a ★★★★★ Yelp review. Something along the lines of: Service was fast. Getting pubic lice was faster.
Local vagrant takes us on a journey that blurs the line between southern cooking and female independence, as illustrated by a sex act that's led to more infections than a Marilyn Manson concert. Never before has adult entertainment made me prouder of my KFC rewards points.
A scene gets a little too intense for Lexi when her costar bitch slaps the valtrex out of her face. After which her costar turned assailant keeps asking her "are you ok?"
First the extra terrestrial, and now this Silent Hill sub-boss is getting more action on the field than the Minnesota Vikings? I don't know what the fuck is going on recently, but eventually this behavior is going to involve the fire department.
Bootstrapping your pretend family members: Apparently it's the stepping stone for every 40-something female that wants to pursue the world of porn. Most women have enough respect to decline the offer, but mom has a different approach...
Hoe Chi Minh's first time at the fish market goes sour after realizing he should have spent the extra $20 at eros.com before dartboarding the bargain bin. Her defense for smelling like a Portuguese outhouse? LIterally nothing. She carries on like this is part of the girlfriend experience. I fucking laughed.
Every so often I come across an individual that makes me ask: How much tarantula fucking middle aged misguided trailer park moonshine did they drink before this became a good idea? It's like someone took Rosie O'Donnell and made it harder to see her naked.
Paying some skank on the internet to watch you jerk off on webcam seems pathetic and sad overall, but this cam slut has to hold back laughing when she see's this fuckin guys dick.
