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Hi, My Penis Is 3 Feet Long

Shit. If my cock that was big, I'd throw on my limited edition Bugle Boy jean shorts and hit the boardwalk.

4,692,742 views 01/26/10 Asians

Maid Mayhem

These men have truly mastered the art of sexually harassing migrant workers. Bravo. But I do believe it's time to take that next step forward - The Ritz Carlton. All white maids with 34d titties. Make daddy proud.

3,518,579 views 01/14/10 Exhibition

How Pornstars Get Pinkeye

The jizz of a black man infused with rectal juice? That's like fuckin battery acid. Kiss yo 20/20 vision goodbye bitch!

3,384,184 views 01/08/10 Fail

A Colonoscopy Before Anal

Chester's awfully eager to do some butt fuckin but fears his wanky might come out lookin like a Snickers bar [bitesize of course]. Luckily this Jap has access to cutting edge medical technology - a Feces Detector 3000. Kinda gross, but I find his dedication to 'safe sex' rather admirable.

4,930,296 views 01/01/10 Asians

Pocahontas Accidentally Shits Herself

An Indian prostitute that speaks in ebonics and lacks basic potty training? Some women are just born to be on eFukt.

2,767,856 views 12/23/09 Hookers

Scat Fail

He was promised a 2 pound turd. Instead he was given a Chicken McNugget. Those be grounds for a fuckin refund.

3,738,995 views 12/20/09 LULZ

The Headless Penis

What was once a sniper rifle is now a snubnose magnum. How'd that happen? Lemme guess... something involving farm animals and strategically placed peanut butter? It happens to the best of us.

2,724,440 views 12/13/09 Bizarre

Babysitting Fail

I wish my parents had been as considerate in their choosing of a babysitter. For 7 years they stuck me with Ethiopian dyke that wore basketball attire exclusively. Nearly left me with an inverted penis.

5,520,925 views 12/03/09 LULZ

The Blob

He can brag about his 20 pound meat bag all he wants. If it doesn't get hard, then it's about as useful as a black hooker at a blood drive.

1,487,066 views 11/19/09 WTF

He'll Never Do Porn Again

Failure to achieve erection OR premature ejaculation. Those are the top 2 problems most men face when trying to perform on camera. It's usually one or the other... but in this chumps case - 2 birds are killed with 1 very tiny stone.

3,145,168 views 11/17/09 Premature

Anal Creampie From Hell

It's crazy. On the outside, assholes all look the same. But if your rectum was to ever head south & emerge as a pink-sock... you'd quickly find that much like the butt plugs in Oprah Winfrey's sextoy collection, they come in all shapes, sizes and colors. 4 years of running a porn site and that's about all I've learned.

1,852,109 views 11/11/09 Prolapse

Bitch! You Broke My Dick!

Fuck porn, she belongs in MMA.

3,763,915 views 11/04/09 Fights

Mr. Plow

for when Colon Cleanse just isn't enough..

2,228,577 views 11/03/09 Insertions

The Inside Out Girl

Her asshole resembles the neck of a kid that's just been decapitated. Hmmm. Sounds like fap time if you ask me.

2,143,393 views 10/30/09 Prolapse

Suicide By Dildo

Don't give up.... you're almost there.

3,311,109 views 10/27/09 Insertions

BEEP BEEP! I've Got A Boner

Beating off at home is for pussies. Real men take their meat to the street.

1,178,103 views 10/25/09 Exhibition

Quit Fapping & GTFO

I guess he figured that once she laid eyes on his 7 inch yankee doodle, she wouldn't be able to resist and that a 'happy ending' would ensue. The Motel 6 guy actually shared the same ideology. Too much late night Cinemax porn can really fuck with your head these days.

3,543,695 views 10/09/09 Exhibition

The Most Miserable Pornstar Ever

Pretty sure I once saw this chick in a humanitarian commercial for Yugoslavian orphans. It's hard to forget a facial expression like that.... especially after fappin to it for 3 consecutive months.

2,256,020 views 10/07/09 Fail

The Elevator

I decided to reuse the sound bite from yesterday's clip. Who would've thought Robert Deniro's voice could so perfectly complete a video of a man retracting his nut sack to and fro? I know I know, it's amazing.

1,133,987 views 09/30/09 LULZ

Cunt Head

Yoshinoya lost his Rolex diamond watch up a hooker's fallopian tubes and sets off on a death defying expedition to recover it. Enjoy!

2,476,605 views 09/30/09 Asians
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