He's socially inept and has B cup titties. How can life possibly get any worse? If you guessed 'make a porno, creep the living fuck out of the girl, blow your load in 4 seconds and end up all over the internet", you just won my inflatable Captain Planet sex doll.
I've never seen a man so content with having only lasted 24 seconds in the sack. His sexual prowess has the runtime of a Tampax commercial... and all he cares about is using his woman's rump roast as a bongo drum set. Bares some similarities to THIS efukt classic.
One man's quest for counterfeit Dockers ends with a lustrous rub n' tug, courtesy of Miss Swan, in what's quite possibly the only legitimate 'happy ending' video in existence. It's hard to turn a blind eye to the shrek factor of all ladies involved, but hey... at least it's real.
Ridiculous porno quote of the week: "make me into a worthless vegetable". Yeah well, her male counterpart certainly tried. But the end result was less Terri Schiavo and more Michael J. Fox. Yeah, I'm going to hell.
He's got a stage 5 boner on a packed beach and straight up does not give a fuck. They flirt, they kiss, they jerk eachother off like they got 15 seconds left to live. Shits going reeeeal good... that is until... well, you'll see.
This girl is a total nymph. Bang her extra deep and you'll be rewarded with a sound you'd normally only hear in a fucked up Peta video. Hot shit. Now about this vid - it's from a site called Watch Us Fuck, created by a duo that's been documenting their own sex life since age 18.
Ariana Jollee gets a tad bit emo on the set of Neo Pornographia 2 after receiving a bitchslap 'one million times harder' that what she was expecting. This quote sums it up pretty well: "this is sex, this isnt fucking beating people". I think she's on to something here.
This white trash tart has a speech impediment that's left her sounding like Stan's cunt of a sister from South Park. But that's okay. The bulk of her dialogue has been limited to "ouch" and "that hurtz muddafucka". I wouldn't have it any other way.
Downside of being 26 and still living at home: everytime youre about to unload some nutsack chutney onto your GF's face., momma comes a knockin! And of course there's always the other end of the spectrum - mom's with foot long dongs but no time to use em.
Short compilation of Chloe Camilla's most over the top, ear deafening climaxes. I really wanna know... is this shit fake? or is it considered normal to perform half assed Taekwondo mid-orgasm?
So what's the scientific reasoning behind this one? Either her twat has Parkinson's or this is Hollow Man 3 and that mischievous fuck Kevin Bacon is back with a silenced Hitachi magic wand. Think about it.
Ya know what... when you're stuck with 4.2 inch weiner and the endurance of that fat fuck from ABC's Lost... propositioning a random big-dicked black dude to bang your wife really might not be all that great of an idea.
Hot ass outtake from in which a pornstar rings her mom as she takes it up the ass. Check out the full DVD to catch a separate outtake of some crazy bitch making small talk with grandma after getting DP'ed. Good stuff.
Grandpa Willy's sexual escapade is derailed after the Mrs. makes an unexpected visit to his dungeon of spunk. After unleashing a fit of rage, a wild herd of Ukrainian hookers appear out of nowhere and make a run for the front door. One doesn't seem to make it. LOL.
Dude gets kicked out of a sex club after breaking an unwritten rule against blowing your load on other people's girlfriends. Yep. You can slam fuck her till she screams bloody murder, just dont get any semen on her brah. Shit aint cool.
One in the pink, another in the stink. That was the plan up until Gilligian and his clumsy noodle fucked it all up. You see, his cock fell off course and wandered south, resulting in an unexpected double vadge penetration - a sex move that didn't even exist at the time. Why are the most important discoveries in life always accidental?
Pornstar demonstrates her multitasking proskillz by calling up mommy and holding a conversation as she chows down on a can of man-ass. Divided attention really ain't all that bad.
One of the shittiest XXX films I've seen in my time... edited down to a cool 60 seconds. It's nothing amazing but fuck... it's got a plot revolving around accusations of sheep sex and worse acting than a Segal flick. How could I not post it?
Dude sobs like a little bitch after his sexual advances get shot down by a midol-deficient cam. Cue theme song from Family Matters. No wait, scratch that. I got a much better song in mind. Watch and see.
This is rather odd. I mean the dude gets caught pissing on the face of his 20 year old girlfriend by a lady older than the first black and white TV and doesn't even bother to cover up. For a solid 10 seconds the old hag just stands there eyeing his cock. There's no embarrassment. No dialogue. Just one baffled senior citizen trying to make sense of a contemporary sex act.
