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The Most Gentle Breakdown Ever

This girl has 1 of the nicest racks I've ever seen. But bundle that with an extremely frigid personality & you then have the biggest disappointment since Macaulay Culkin's The Pagemaster. Seriously, this chick's so uptight she wont even do a facial. It's tragic.

02/06/12 Rocco Siffredi Fail

The 24 Year Old FEMALE Virgin II

What's life's greatest mystery? Aliens? why Lionsgate allows Tyler Perry to continue directing films? How about how the fuck this 46 year old poster boy for NAMBLA managed to pull a Russian model half his age, only to vow abstinence for half a fucking decade?

01/06/12 Ed Powers Virgins

Clingers

I've always enjoyed the finer things in life, namely the Wendy's Cheddar Lover's Bacon cheeseburger, Cuba Gooding Jr. films and watching twats get used up like a Stretch Armstrong doll. Just watch.

12/30/11 Insertions

The 24 Year Old FEMALE Virgin

KEY POINTS: she has not and will not fuck - (gypsy's orders), crotch shots are strictly prohibited and vibrators... well, those are as foreign to her as a condom in a Botswana whorehouse. Filmed by the legendary pioneer of gonzo porn - Ed Powers.

12/01/11 Ed Powers Virgins

From HOT To CREEPY In 5 Seconds

I once heard a male performer mutter "my grandma gives better head than you, suck me better or i'll pour drano down your cunt". That used to rank pretty high on my personal list of random-as-fuck-porno-dialogue. Then I saw this.

The 10 Worst Orgasms Ever Filmed

Compilation of the most obnoxious, flaccidity inducing-orgasms you'll ever witness.

LOL: Dude Kills Fly During Rough Anal

I recognize the lisp. It's the same jolly fucker from 'HARDER! Or I Cant Cum' with the unhealthy obsession for rimjobs. Glad to see he's still living life to the fullest - I.E. using your penis to bait, trap and murder insects up some hot chick's asshole.

11/02/11 Fail

The 24 Year Old Virgin

He's socially inept and has B cup titties. How can life possibly get any worse? If you guessed 'make a porno, creep the living fuck out of the girl, blow your load in 4 seconds and end up all over the internet", you just won my inflatable Captain Planet sex doll.

10/13/11 Virgins

Sybian Morphs Lunatic Into Crazier Lunatic

I'm pretty sure I've just uncovered a new dialect. I shall dub it 'crackwhorian'. Much like Spanglish - it cannot be taught, only evoked. Japanese electronics and bull whip required.

10/09/11 Kink.com Orgasms

Happy Ending WIN

One man's quest for counterfeit Dockers ends with a lustrous rub n' tug, courtesy of Miss Swan, in what's quite possibly the only legitimate 'happy ending' video in existence. It's hard to turn a blind eye to the shrek factor of all ladies involved, but hey... at least it's real.

09/30/11 Exhibition

Make Me A Vegatable

Ridiculous porno quote of the week: "make me into a worthless vegetable". Yeah well, her male counterpart certainly tried. But the end result was less Terri Schiavo and more Michael J. Fox. Yeah, I'm going to hell.

Pornstar Loses Her Shit

Ariana Jollee gets a tad bit emo on the set of Neo Pornographia 2 after receiving a bitchslap 'one million times harder' that what she was expecting. This quote sums it up pretty well: "this is sex, this isnt fucking beating people". I think she's on to something here.

07/05/11 Fail

Dont Fuck With Gianna

Raided grandpa's porno war-chest last night, nabbed a copy of Manhandled 3. Halfway in there's an interesting scene where Steve Homles randomly baits Gianna Michaels into slapping him. Well, she delivers... and it aint no fucking love tap. Lets just say Mr. Homles is less than appreciative of Gianna's sense of humor.

04/29/11 EvilAngel Fights

Damaged Goods

Director gets annoyed after discovering the star of his young/innocent themed porno flick is actually a post-crackwhorian guttertramp with a horrendous tattoo right where it counts. That's like casting Steven Segal in a drama about terminally ill lesbians. Some things you just cant pull off, no matter how big your ponytail is.

The Vibrating Pussy

So what's the scientific reasoning behind this one? Either her twat has Parkinson's or this is Hollow Man 3 and that mischievous fuck Kevin Bacon is back with a silenced Hitachi magic wand. Think about it.

08/28/10 POV Pervert Bizarre

Daughter Of The Year 2

Hot ass outtake from in which a pornstar rings her mom as she takes it up the ass. Check out the full DVD to catch a separate outtake of some crazy bitch making small talk with grandma after getting DP'ed. Good stuff.

08/17/10 LULZ

The Daughter Of The Year

Pornstar demonstrates her multitasking proskillz by calling up mommy and holding a conversation as she chows down on a can of man-ass. Divided attention really ain't all that bad.

07/09/10 LULZ

Gay Thugs Ruin Porno Shoot

A fist fight breaks out just before a mass interracial orgy was set to take place. Dolemite subdues one of the offenders by infiltrating his underpants and obtaining a vice-like grip on the dudes cornhole. Technique courtesy of San Quentin state prison.

07/01/10 Fights

Lemme Smell Yo Dick

One of the shittiest XXX films I've seen in my time... edited down to a cool 60 seconds. It's nothing amazing but fuck... it's got a plot revolving around accusations of sheep sex and worse acting than a Segal flick. How could I not post it?

06/27/10 Vintage

Who Wants Lasagna

First he bulldozes her ass till his cock turns brown. Then he moves up an orifice and gives her twat some chocolate-coated TLC... which is pretty much guaranteed to result in a wicked case of vaginitis but lets not spoil the fun. All things come to an end after he asks the most amazing question ever uttered in a pornographic film - "who wants lasagna?"

03/21/10 LULZ
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