Dude sobs like a little bitch after his sexual advances get shot down by a midol-deficient cam. Cue theme song from Family Matters. No wait, scratch that. I got a much better song in mind. Watch and see.
Ashley Blue gets tossed to the ground after flaunting her diseased twat in the wrong girl's face. I'm afraid that canned tuna / Wisconsin aged cheddar aroma just ain't for everyone.
First he bulldozes her ass till his cock turns brown. Then he moves up an orifice and gives her twat some chocolate-coated TLC... which is pretty much guaranteed to result in a wicked case of vaginitis but lets not spoil the fun. All things come to an end after he asks the most amazing question ever uttered in a pornographic film - "who wants lasagna?"
Way too homoerotic for my taste, but I did get a laugh out of his 'grand finale' and the excessive use of the word "bro". Watch all the way through and you'll understand.
You always gotta be wary of those naked, middle aged men who like to prance about in red face paint. Snapping a few myspace photos with the aforementioned homosexual may seem tempting, but it's important you understand the risks involved. Watch and learn.
Honestly, less than 1% of the shit I post actually makes me LOL. Anal prolapses and horse porn bloopers just don't seem to do it for me anymore. But man... the second I heard this guy blow ass in the opening sequence I LOL'd so hard my eyes started watering like an emo listening to Dashboard Confessional.
This dude screams as if his hand just got hacked off Blood Diamond style. And sorry if this is a repost, I'm short on time. I've got a date with an 19 year old diabetic in 45 minutes. We're gonna watch Jumanji and play truth or dare at my moms house. Jealous?
This is from the 1976 classic Water Power. It's a lot like Taxi Driver, except this Travis Bickle has a little fetish for forcing woman into doing enemas at gun point. The film is actually based on real crimes committed by an Illinois man dubbed the "Enema Bandit". Anyway he's dead now, so R.I.P you scat-loving motherfucker.
Wrong hole? No not quite. More like wrong fucking direction. His cock nearly pierces through the piece of skin seperating her ass from her pussy. Remember the 'chestburster' scene from Alien? Just watch...
A self induced orgasm leaves her flopping around like a fish out of water. Reminds me of myself when I lost my virginity, except I actually cried a litte. Tears of joy.
Easy solution: grab the phone & shove it up her twat. With that hole being occupied, you'll have no choice but to relocate your penis to the nearest available orifice - her anus. I call this "How To Get Anal From A Prostitute Without Paying Extra, by eFukt.com".
This video really hits close to home. I too was once ridiculed for bustin my sloppy goo nuts prematurely. My ego was scarred and so was my penis (herpes). Watching this brings it all back.
Look at all those wild spectators... snapping pics for their myspace. I like the one wearing the goggles and dancing with his toy shotgun. He's special.
If your penis is insufficient, watch this video and learn how to give a girl an orgasm so big that she'll giiggle like school girl and love you forever. This would be quite a change for me, most girls just spit in my face after sex. They just can't seem to appreciate ass 2 mouth.
