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He'll Never Do Porn Again

Failure to achieve erection OR premature ejaculation. Those are the top 2 problems most men face when trying to perform on camera. It's usually one or the other... but in this chumps case - 2 birds are killed with 1 very tiny stone.

11/17/09 Premature

Anal Creampie From Hell

It's crazy. On the outside, assholes all look the same. But if your rectum was to ever head south & emerge as a pink-sock... you'd quickly find that much like the butt plugs in Oprah Winfrey's sextoy collection, they come in all shapes, sizes and colors. 4 years of running a porn site and that's about all I've learned.

11/11/09 Prolapse

Endurance Fail

I like how he straight up bends his cock as a means to halt the ejaculation. It's a penis, not a fucking garden hose. Nice try though!

11/02/09 Bangbros Premature

The Inside Out Girl

Her asshole resembles the neck of a turkey that's just been decapitated. Hmmm.

10/30/09 Prolapse

Suicide By Dildo

Don't give up.... you're almost there.

10/27/09 Insertions

BEEP BEEP! I've Got A Boner

Beating off at home is for pussies. Real men take their meat to the street.

10/25/09 Exhibition

A Hole In One

Fuck. I totally left out the headshot.wav file.

10/17/09 Brazzers Fail

Quit Fapping & GTFO

I guess he figured that once she laid eyes on his 7 inch yankee doodle, she wouldn't be able to resist and that a 'happy ending' would ensue. The Motel 6 guy actually shared the same ideology. Too much late night Cinemax porn can really fuck with your head these days.

10/09/09 Exhibition

The Most Miserable Pornstar Ever

Pretty sure I once saw this chick in a humanitarian commercial for Yugoslavian orphans. It's hard to forget a facial expression like that.... especially after fappin to it for 3 consecutive months.

10/07/09 Fail

The Elevator

I decided to reuse the sound bite from yesterday's clip. Who would've thought Robert Deniro's voice could so perfectly complete a video of a man retracting his nut sack to and fro? I know I know, it's amazing.

09/30/09 LULZ

Cumshot Fail

Tojiri "vertigo" Yamamato fumbles at the 3 yard line.

09/26/09 Fail

Titty Destruction

If you're among the minority of men that don't enjoy seeing Japanese women being beaten to tears, it's probably best you skip this one. These fun bags take more abuse than a Mexican pinata on May 5th.

09/21/09 Asians

Salad Tossing 101

HAHA what the fuck! Just listen to this guy. He lured in his enemy with a blowjob and then shanked him. Fucking new age ninja tactics.

09/17/09 LULZ

Sharing Is Caring

Snowballing? Fuck that. I'd rather toss my girlfriend's salad directly after shitting out 2 pounds of kung pao chicken than be orally introduced to my own man jam. Too many calories bro.

09/14/09 LULZ

Orgasm Ruined By Momma

Dudes in the middle of busting a nut when Madea comes a knocking. This is why I jack off with headphones on. Nothing comes between me and glory.

09/02/09 Busted!

The Super Soaker

When it rains... it pours.

08/26/09 Orgasms

Pornstar Quits Over Farting Incident

This is a scene from MEATHOLES, which was basically one of the most extreme porn sites on the web back in 2003-ish. It's funny. This girl can handle a fist while the cameraman inquires about her past, but let one slip in her face and that's where she draws the line.

08/19/09 Meatholes Fail

Condom Fail

That's what happens when you buy contraceptives out of vending machines.

08/18/09 LULZ

America's Next Top Pornstar

You stuttering, premature ejaculating son of a gun. Peter North and Ron Jeremy are already packing their bags.

08/16/09 Premature

Gangbanged By 251 Men For Nothing

The 90's - A time when fucking a quarter thousand men in the name of art somehow made sense. Talk about a resume booster!

08/09/09 LULZ
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