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Masturbation Fail

I hear that locking the door is a pretty efficient away of gaining privacy. Might wanna try that out sometime ya dumb bitch.

3,014,283 views 01/23/10 Busted!

A Colonoscopy Before Anal

Chester's awfully eager to do some butt fuckin but fears his wanky might come out lookin like a Snickers bar [bitesize of course]. Luckily this Jap has access to cutting edge medical technology - a Feces Detector 3000. Kinda gross, but I find his dedication to 'safe sex' rather admirable.

4,930,161 views 01/01/10 Asians

Gang Member Of The Year

He's about as good at rapping as I am at convincing fat chicks on Myspace that my semen tastes like Ben & Jerry's cake batter ice cream. Fucking oustanding.

3,441,533 views 12/16/09 LULZ

Orgasm Fail

Preggo girl is in the middle of cumming when her [minute] man declares that the apple sauce is en route for early delivery. She replies with a double "doo eet", which I believe means: "cum inside me so that I can finish my orgasm you twig dick motherfucker". The request didn't seem to catch.

4,531,313 views 12/08/09 Premature

The Blob

He can brag about his 20 pound meat bag all he wants. If it doesn't get hard, then it's about as useful as a black hooker at a blood drive.

1,486,991 views 11/19/09 WTF

Anal Creampie From Hell

It's crazy. On the outside, assholes all look the same. But if your rectum was to ever head south & emerge as a pink-sock... you'd quickly find that much like the butt plugs in Oprah Winfrey's sextoy collection, they come in all shapes, sizes and colors. 4 years of running a porn site and that's about all I've learned.

1,851,998 views 11/11/09 Prolapse

The Inside Out Girl

Her asshole resembles the neck of a kid that's just been decapitated. Hmmm. Sounds like fap time if you ask me.

2,143,268 views 10/30/09 Prolapse

A Hole In One

Fuck. I totally left out the headshot.wav file. God damn it.

2,840,840 views 10/17/09 Brazzers Fail

Healthy Alternatives To Anal Sex

She rather suck off a fuckin golden retriever than take it up the butt. No joke. They even have an in depth conversation about dog cock just prior to the cumshot finale. Nothing like a little steamy dialogue to keep your noodle hard, right?

3,886,563 views 09/22/09 Meatholes Painal

Sharing Is Caring

Snowballing? Fuck that. I'd rather toss my girlfriend's salad directly after shitting out 2 pounds of kung pao chicken than be orally introduced to my own man jam. Too many calories bro.

1,590,001 views 09/14/09 LULZ

Pornstar Quits Over Farting Incident

This is a scene from MEATHOLES, which was basically one of the most extreme porn sites on the web back in 2003-ish. It's funny. This girl can handle a fist up her cunt while the cameraman inquires about her childhood, but let one slip in her face and that's where she draws the line.

2,796,080 views 08/19/09 Meatholes Fail

Condom Fail

That's what happens when you buy contraceptives out of vending machines.

2,568,794 views 08/18/09 LULZ

Pornstar Hates Semen

No one said you had to like it baby. Just sit back, open wide and think about all the Baja Chalupas you'll be able to buy as soon as you're done. That's what gets me through the day.

1,522,116 views 08/17/09 Cum Haters

Gangbanged By 251 Men For Nothing

The 90's - A time when fucking a quarter thousand men in the name of art somehow made sense. Talk about a resume booster!

2,647,990 views 08/09/09 LULZ

Shotgun Blast To The Vajayjay

All I can think about is the people who jack off to this shit. I envision a crowd of a thousand Japs in a dimly lit adult theater, simultaneously ejaculating just as the girl's vagina gets blown into oblivion by a point-blank blast from a 12 guage. Enthusiastic high fives, everywhere.

1,423,817 views 07/07/09 Bizarre

A Unique Friendship

Way too homoerotic for my taste, but I did get a laugh out of his 'grand finale' and the excessive use of the word "bro". Watch all the way through and you'll understand.

1,424,572 views 07/02/09 Bizarre

Bite Size Vagina

Ass to vagina to mouth. If you're up for it, I've got a Power Wheels Escalade with your name on it.

6,406,472 views 06/23/09

Horse Cock Syndrome

How exactly does one go about obtaining this "syndrome"? I got a snazzy date next Friday and I'm looking to impress.

1,164,797 views 06/23/09 Tranny

Gigantic Genitalia

I'm about to take a hot shower and fap to my Elton John's Greatest Hits CD. I'll type up a video description a bit later, k?

3,020,569 views 06/04/09 Asians

Fuck The Shit Out Of Me

Ask, and ye shall recieve. I learned that in bible club

2,765,974 views 05/30/09 Orgasms
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