Pug-faced Hispanic drinks herself so numb she doesn't even notice when last night's chimichanga is hanging halfway out her asshole. Her laugh is as bad as her hygiene. Sounds like something Steven Urkel would emit while making love to the dude from Wonder Years. Watch this one all the way through.
If there's one thing that never fails to get a fuckload of clicks - it's videos of unexpected butt love. So here's 8 of em. That's right, EIGHT, as in the number of times I defecated after eating crab wontons at P.F. Changs. Enjoy.
KEY POINTS: she has not and will not fuck - (gypsy's orders), crotch shots are strictly prohbited and vibrators... well, those are as foreign to her as a condom in a Botswana whorehouse. Filmed by the legendary pioneer of gonzo porn - Ed Powers.
She's half Korean, half Mexican. That means she's pro at math and will have around 17 kids by this time next year. Not really. This girl actually just likes to smoke weed and take pictures of her massive ass - both of which are combined today in ways you cant even fathom. OOOOH YEAH.
Over 40 bukkake shoots and the closest this dude's come to delivering a facial was the time he soiled himself in a dark corner. But today's a game changer. Via the aid of a compassionate fluffer, this orange-haired bastard finally gets a legitimate taste of manhood.
Sativa Rose nearly shits bricks Quepapas after realizing she's been duped into doing a quasi-bukkake. Haven't seen a Mexican get this fiesty since the time i got caught sniffing second-hand chones at the local swapmeet, wearing nothing but jesus sandals.
I believe her first mistake was LOL'ing while getting passionately bulldozed by a 17 inch yogurt slinger. That kinda laughter tends to translate to one thing only - "your ion cannon does not phase me, please bash my ovaries harder". Invitation clearly accepted.
One man's quest for counterfeit Dockers ends with a lustrous rub n' tug, courtesy of Miss Swan, in what's quite possibly the only legitimate 'happy ending' video in existence. It's hard to turn a blind eye to the shrek factor of all ladies involved, but hey... at least it's real.
Hungarian broad tries to bail on the wrong cocksmith - Steve Holmes. Dodge one load, no problem. He can work up another wad of creme brulee instantly. That's right, zro downtime. Watch this motherfucker work his magic.
You know it's a hooker cause who else puts on a rubber just for s'ing some d? And you know it's his first time cause... well, just look at his face. Just one touch of his penis and he turns into Quasimoto with Asperger syndrome.
This one's a crowd pleaser. Not only get to see a massive-titted pornstar unwittingly suck a shit covered wang ... but you also to get hear three seconds of my real voice. Boner inducement on all fronts.
Rimjobs - the quintessential stepping stone to full-blown A2M. Most whores have little trouble making it over to the other side of the rainbow - but odds are they weren't paired up with some asshole that forgot how to wipe, as is this guy.
He's got a stage 5 boner on a packed beach and straight up does not give a fuck. They flirt, they kiss, they jerk eachother off like they got 15 seconds left to live. Shits going reeeeal good... that is until... well, you'll see.
James Deen slings his gentleman juice down one mouth too many in this tragic outtake from Tonsil Hockey. Moral of the story is simple. Never leave your piehole agape when you're on the business end of a 12 inch cock. haha.
One man does in 30 seconds what 7 men couldnt do in 2 hours. His secret weapon? Jackrabbit-esque fucking. Lightening fast and kidney deep. Check the 1 minute mark. Her trembling lips and deer-in-headlights facial expression say it all. Ya did good kid.
No stimulation of the clit. No vibrator in the pussy hole. This is a woman that can legitimately cum her brains out from nothing more than a good ol' ass pounding. God bless.
Ariana Jollee gets a tad bit emo on the set of Neo Pornographia 2 after receiving a bitchslap 'one million times harder' that what she was expecting. This quote sums it up pretty well: "this is sex, this isnt fucking beating people". I think she's on to something here.
Hobo Jones coughs up 5 singles for a back alley knob-slob. Takes all but 23 seconds to reach climax, at which point he immediately helps himself to a full refund by forcefully robbing her and running for dear life... leaving her in the dust with a mouthful of bum cum! Instant classic.
Tory Lane has two rules. Dont touch her tattoos & dont beat the shit out of her face. Talk about high standards.. but this fiery eyed slut isnt fucking around . One of her costars decides to test her anyway, resulting in a brief but epic rage quit.
The one time Japan decides to not censor the genitals... they cast a girl with a Saarlac for a twat. Didn't see Return of the Jedi? Here's an alternative metaphor: Imagine Gene Simmons face, mouth ajar and tongue extended, reincarnated as Yoko Ono's twat. That ought to do it.
