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Bitch, That Aint No Pussy!

Start taking notes Mr. M. Night Shyamalananan. This is how you end a fucking movie.

04/15/09 Vintage

Cleanup On Orifice Number 1

This is a fetish known as 'cuckold cleanup'. Usually it involves a closet homosexual who gets off on pimpin his wife out to random strangers. Often the husband will sit in the corner and actually videotape as his significant other gets pounded by foreign cock. Once the creampie has been injected, it's like 'all you can eat' night at Red Lobster. Yum yum eat em up.

02/21/09 Cuckold

Beverage Holder

Just don't put any cups in your ass and you'll be okay.

02/07/09

Piglet

Ya know that hot 18 year old blonde you had cybersex with last week? This is what she really looks like.

01/03/09

The Dumbest Sex Device Ever Built

That doesn't even look too fun. Her tits look like tomatoes on the verge of exploding. I never realized breasts were so durable. Not only do they come in handy for whatever the fuck you'd call this shit, but they also serve as excellent punching bags. They're multipurpose, unlike my penis.

12/28/08 Bizarre

The Effects Of Interracial Sex

This dude screams as if his hand just got hacked off Blood Diamond style. And sorry if this is a repost, I'm short on time. I've got a date with an 19 year old diabetic in 45 minutes. We're gonna watch Jumanji and play truth or dare at my moms house. Jealous?

11/27/08 Orgasms

Eat Your Own Pussy!

LOL @ the dialogue and fap fap fap @ the forced cunnilingus. I love these variety videos.

10/20/08 Vintage

Go Away Bro, I'm Masturbating

This is why I carry a 12oz bottle of my mace in my center console. Rest stops are great for quick 'on the road' jackoff sessions but they're almost always laden with dirty old men looking to score free peep shows. If they want to see me make love to myself, they gotta pay... otherwise it's mace to the face.

10/19/08 Busted!

Search Her Pussy For Contraband

I love how this is a real procedure. They do it before admitting woman into correction facilities. Imagine having that job, getting paid to raid pussies for contraband. Imagine all the treasures you could find.

09/17/08 Vintage

Make Sure My Pussy Works

She hits up the doctor cause she's having difficulty getting pregnant. I'm no gynecologist but if shaved that bush her husband would probably have an easier time finding the right hole.

09/05/08 Documentary

She Cums Nine Times

The dude sounds Popeye the Sailorman and his old lady squirts cum like a water fountain. They were born for eFukt. Thanks goes to Rod for the video.

08/28/08 Orgasms

But Youre My Brother Lolz

Vintage porno with family undertones makes me laugh. It also heightens my urge to be transported back to the 70's so that I can fuck the shit out of hippies along side mothers with beehive hairdos.

08/21/08 Vintage

Bosnian Nympho Fucks In A Bar

I should probably visit Bosnia. If girls will drop their panties for dirty old scumbags like that over there, I might still have a shot at losing my virginity afterall.

07/11/08 Public

Hookers Arent Very Political

If all the prostitutes in America turned political, crack would be legalized and sold through vending machines. It's best we keep their faces stuffed with cock.

06/29/08 Amateur

22 Year Old Loses His Virginity

He's 22 and still a virgin so his father put all his pennies together and bought his son a hooker for his birthday... a present weighing in at 200 pounds.

05/03/08 Virgins

You Beautiful Bitch

There is a new threat out there to hookers worldwide. It isn't HIV or the police, it's a dirty old man named Douglas who has made an art form out of verbally degrading prostitutes lol.

03/30/08 Amateur

Stripper Attacked By Granny

I was considering being a stripper once but after realizing my clientele would consist of 300 pound senior citizens, I sought employment elsewhere.

02/24/08 Strippers

Public Pissing Gone Wrong

This geezer takes offense to the concept. Would've been funnier if she was shitting. Much funnier.

02/15/08 LULZ

Whale Vagina

Have you guys ever seen that old horror movie The Blob? Her pussy is going to eat you alive lolz.

11/02/07 Gallery

Diseased Pussy

Not even a cluster of genital warts can keep her from eating out a friend!

09/02/07 Bizarre
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