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Piglet

Ya know that hot 18 year old blonde you had cybersex with last week? This is what she really looks like.

01/03/09

The Dumbest Sex Device Ever Built

That doesn't even look too fun. Her tits look like tomatoes on the verge of exploding. I never realized breasts were so durable. Not only do they come in handy for whatever the fuck you'd call this shit, but they also serve as excellent punching bags. They're multipurpose, unlike my penis.

12/28/08 Bizarre

Pornstar Nearly Impales Herself

Mullet girl doesn't seem to realize that a dildo this large is likely to cause internal bleeding. Had it actually penetrated her vagina - she'd go down in medical history as the first gynecology patient to have no need for a speculum.

12/17/08 Insertions

He's Not Exactly Pornstar Material

I love how he franctically jacks off even after he's already blown his load, maybe hoping to milk out one last squirt of man-goo and actually land it on her face? No such luck for this fatty arbuckle. I'll tell you though, I'm definitely diggin his torn up thong.

12/13/08 LULZ

Amputee Porn Gone Bad

All the things that made amputee porn so great just got shitted on by whoever made this so called 'erotic film'. Amputee porn is about disabled, submissive (and usually defenseless) women being fucked by men with exceedingly large penises. I refuse to have it any other way.

12/10/08 Amputee

The Orgasm Of Death

Honestly, less than 1% of the shit I post actually makes me LOL. Anal prolapses and horse porn bloopers just don't seem to do it for me anymore. But man... the second I heard this guy blow ass in the opening sequence I LOL'd so hard my eyes started watering like an emo listening to Dashboard Confessional.

12/06/08 Orgasms

Mushroom Head

For the love of god, someone please cast this man into a porno. I wanna see what a woman's asshole looks like after being fucked by this thing.

11/30/08

The Effects Of Interracial Sex

This dude screams as if his hand just got hacked off Blood Diamond style. And sorry if this is a repost, I'm short on time. I've got a date with an 19 year old diabetic in 45 minutes. We're gonna watch Jumanji and play truth or dare at my moms house. Jealous?

11/27/08 Orgasms

Eat Your Own Pussy!

LOL @ the dialogue and fap fap fap @ the forced cunnilingus. I love these variety videos.

10/20/08 Vintage

Go Away Bro, I'm Masturbating

This is why I carry a 12oz bottle of my mace in my center console. Rest stops are great for quick 'on the road' jackoff sessions but they're almost always laden with dirty old men looking to score free peep shows. If they want to see me make love to myself, they gotta pay... otherwise it's mace to the face.

10/19/08 Busted!

Good Porn Ruined By Shitty Music

It's a porno, not a damn fitness video. Stop adding in the shitty keyboard-generated dance music.

10/06/08 LULZ

I Wanna Be A Pornstar

A few tit jobs and a little lipo, and then BAM... her vagina will be generating 7 figures annually before you even know it. It'll also be generating a yellowish discharge, depending on the severity of the Herpes and Gonorrhea that she's bound to contract.

10/04/08 Modifications

Search Her Pussy For Contraband

I love how this is a real procedure. They do it before admitting woman into correction facilities. Imagine having that job, getting paid to raid pussies for contraband. Imagine all the treasures you could find.

09/17/08 Vintage

Make Sure My Pussy Works

She hits up the doctor cause she's having difficulty getting pregnant. I'm no gynecologist but if shaved that bush her husband would probably have an easier time finding the right hole.

09/05/08 Documentary

She Cums Nine Times

The dude sounds Popeye the Sailorman and his old lady squirts cum like a water fountain. They were born for eFukt. Thanks goes to Rod for the video.

08/28/08 Orgasms

Oh Noes The Condom Broke!

I found this on some website that pays $2,000 for homemade porno. I'm kinda bummed... they rejected all 3 of my personal sextapes, citing that my 2 inch penis wouldn't appeal to general audiences. Ouch!

Big Dick Syndrome

Aye carumba! Nice elephant cock dood! But I forsee 1 little problem... the only creatures with big enough holes for you to fuck are large horses and gay pornstars who've been subjected to olympian gangbangs. Tough break bro!

08/26/08 Big Dicks

But Youre My Brother Lolz

Vintage porno with family undertones makes me laugh. It also heightens my urge to be transported back to the 70's so that I can fuck the shit out of hippies along side mothers with beehive hairdos.

08/21/08 Vintage

Pornstar Ruins Her Boob Job

Silicone is gonna start leaking out her nipples and in 3 days she'll be back to an A cup. I think that makes this the cheapest breast reduction surgery ever.

08/19/08 Fail

Pornstar Gets A New Vagina

Her vagina lips looked like they belonged in an Arbys roast beef sandwhich. This was bad for her career so she set out on a perilous journey to unbeef her pussy and close the gape once and for all.

08/17/08 Beef Curtains
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