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Storytime With A Crackwhore

Slut junkie reminisces about her previous employer - some Screech-looking motherfucker that literally blew a $100,000 inheritance entirely on prostitutes hired for nothing more than to eat Taco Bell and deficate on his face. In other words.. dude's a legend.

Jabba The Slut

It's too bad they didnt take this a step further and use their crafty CGI to turn her twat into a slab of roast beef the size of a Mini Cooper. Then I couldve actually beat off.

10/01/10 Bizarre

Hammer Head

The novelty of having a 10 inch cock sure does fade quick when the head of your penis looks like a Platypus LOL. Rotate your dick 90 degrees and run it over with your Monte Carlo. You'll be aight. Video from ANAL IN THE AMAZON.

09/12/10 Bizarre

Fart Fail - HILARIOUS

This is Scarlett Pain. She's here to show you the after effects of scoffing down a #8 at Del Taco, extra chimichanga sauce. Except this visual demonstration kinda goes to shit towards the end. Quite literally I'm afraid.

08/28/10 Fart Fantasy Fail

Awesome Fail

I dont know whats more fucked up: the fact that he's boning a woman older than jesus or how the enjoyment he gets from it leaves him socially retarded and unable to saying anything more than "AWESOME!". This is what happens when you use Craigslist to get your dick wet you dirty motherfuckers.

07/26/10 LULZ

Twig Girl

She's flat broke, has the body of a malnutritioned Ethiopian and travels via duffle bag. If those arent the quintessential ingredients for a Japanese pornstar, I don't know what is. Now save up some yen and buy a fucking happy meal already.

07/20/10 JAVHD Asians

Stripper Pwns Her Audience

Stripper fills her colon up to the brim with some cheap booze and takes aim at all the assholes that didn't tip her. I have to say, as an owner of Super Soaker Aqua Blaster 2000, I'm impressed. Bitch knows how to work it.

07/14/10 Strippers

Barebacking Gone Wrong

Meet your new idol. He's got more visible STD's than a Compton crackwhore and still manages to pull bitches with ease. This particular skank is a prime example. She sucks his cock as if those warts are Summer fresh blueberries. GAG.

07/13/10 Bizarre

She HATES Blowjobs LOL

When you weigh as much as the couch you're nesting on... performing fellatio is practically considered "exercise". Naturally she's not a fan. What's special though is her mock enthusiasm right at the end. You can literally see calories being burned as she imitates the standard pornstar approach to sucking dick. It's mesmerizing.

06/27/10 LULZ

Earthworm Jim

A parasite most commonly found in dog shit has taken up residence in the cornhole of this Salvadoran hooker. Not much of a step up but what's amazing is how this dumb bitch shits it out in the middle of her pay-per-view camshow without even realizing it. NOE ES BUENO.

06/17/10 LULZ

A Discussion On Beastiality

LOL @ Sasha Grey's brief facial expression of disgust as Belladonna admits that she's down for dog cock. Some irony to be had in the shirt she's wearing.

06/17/10 LULZ

A Random Act Of Kindness

Want hard proof that Americans are all about charity? Look no further friend. This zesty little 19 year old slut offers a mild mannered vagrant the ultimate handout - a free whiff of her soiled panties. It's generosity like this that warms my heart.

06/09/10 LULZ

Husband Of The Year

I haven't seen such misogynistic greatness since "He Hates Hookers" with the late Douglas DeMann. I dunno. There's just something infinitely amusing about women being repeatedly verbally degraded by trailer trash king pimps.

06/06/10 LULZ

Meanwhile in Russia...

Dude unwittingly got himself a front row seat to Russia's biggest shit extravaganza.

05/16/10 LULZ

Blumpkins Really Do Exist

Male pornstar goes where no male pornstar has gone before: to the bathroom... whilst getting his dick sucked. Sounded like a wet one too. Guess this ends the century-long debate that blumpkins are merely an object of fucked up folklore. Another score for modern civilization.

05/05/10 Fail

Time To Retire

I cant even imagine how many jackoff sessions came to a halt after this saggy-assed dinosaur stepped in front of the camera. How the fuck are you supposed to beat off when 50% of the screen is devoted to the puckering balloon knot of a gay porn veteran? Honestly...

04/25/10 Bizarre

The Pencil Test

Ouch. As if being born a ginger wasn't bad enough, this Irish Setter has a set of knockers that look a lot like deflated weather balloons.

04/18/10 LULZ

Lesbian Fail

Ashley Blue gets tossed to the ground after flaunting her diseased twat in the wrong girl's face. I'm afraid that canned tuna / Wisconsin aged cheddar aroma just ain't for everyone.

04/17/10 Squirt Bukkake Fail

Do Not Want

A car full of Canadian hooligans armed with a VHS camcorder stumble upon a crackwhore that likes to show off the brown eye. Honestly... for someone that hasn't wiped their ass since 1993, her cornhole surprisingly didn't look all that bad.

04/12/10 Nasty
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