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From HOT To CREEPY In 5 Seconds

I once heard a male performer mutter "my grandma gives better head than you, suck me better or i'll pour drano down your cunt". That used to rank pretty high on my personal list of random-as-fuck-porno-dialogue. Then I saw this.

Brazillian Fucks 600 Men For Nothing!

She took in 596 cocks, ended up with a vagina blacker than Bill Cosby's stinkhole and lost a $50,000 grand prize to some Ukranian POLISH skag. But on a more positive note, she actually looks surprisingly hot when she cries her eyes out.

11/11/11 LULZ

Biggest Bitch In Porn

Hemorrhoids and Scabies aside, Tanner Mayes is a pretty hot piece of ass. Too bad she's got an ego the size of Ned Flander's cock (massive). This video is a demonstration of what happens when The Cuntinator doesnt get her way. Crazy bitch is crazy.

10/25/11 Fail

Dumbest Girl In Porn

Ok, maybe not the dumbest, but there'll always be 2nd place for the special little whore that went on cable TV to brag about spreading Chlamydia, smoking crack & sodomizing costars with uncooked meats.

10/21/11 LULZ

The 24 Year Old Virgin

He's socially inept and has B cup titties. How can life possibly get any worse? If you guessed 'make a porno, creep the living fuck out of the girl, blow your load in 4 seconds and end up all over the internet", you just won my inflatable Captain Planet sex doll.

10/13/11 Virgins

Pornstar Drops 'N' Bomb

I believe her first mistake was LOL'ing while getting passionately bulldozed by a 17 inch yogurt slinger. That kinda laughter tends to translate to one thing only - "your ion cannon does not phase me, please bash my ovaries harder". Invitation clearly accepted.

Maid Entranced By Gringo Cock

It took 3 years and 117 attempts... but it happened. It finally happened. All he ever wanted was an audience. All she ever intended was to restock toiletries. Somewhere in the middle they found eachother, and from there it was love at first cumshot. Equally amazing video HERE.

09/22/11 Exhibition

Cum Dodger FAIL

Hungarian broad tries to bail on the wrong cocksmith - Steve Holmes. Dodge one load, no problem. He can work up another wad of creme brulee instantly. That's right, zro downtime. Watch this motherfucker work his magic.

09/19/11 Fail

Make Me A Vegatable

Ridiculous porno quote of the week: "make me into a worthless vegetable". Yeah well, her male counterpart certainly tried. But the end result was less Terri Schiavo and more Michael J. Fox. Yeah, I'm going to hell.

Good Idea, Bad Idea

This one's a crowd pleaser. Not only get to see a massive-titted pornstar unwittingly suck a shit covered wang ... but you also to get hear three seconds of my real voice. Boner inducement on all fronts.

08/29/11 Fail

Threesome Gone Bad

James Deen slings his gentleman juice down one mouth too many in this tragic outtake from Tonsil Hockey. Moral of the story is simple. Never leave your piehole agape when you're on the business end of a 12 inch cock. haha.

08/10/11 Fail

HARDER! Or I Cant Cum!

Classic scene from Heavy Handfuls 2 featuring Loni, a cock starved Filipino that's literally incapable of climaxing without full on r@pe simulation. She tries explaining but is ultimately cutoff by her costar who rather chat about his love for rimjobs. Cute.

07/31/11 Orgasms

The Dangers Of CBT

CBT - it's generally the next step up for closet homosexuals that require more stimulation than what being fucked in the ass with a palm tree has to offer. I dont normally allow this type of material, but it's hard to say no to a video that features darwinism so prominently. Live & learn goober.

07/14/11 Fail

Pornstar Loses Her Shit

Ariana Jollee gets a tad bit emo on the set of Neo Pornographia 2 after receiving a bitchslap 'one million times harder' that what she was expecting. This quote sums it up pretty well: "this is sex, this isnt fucking beating people". I think she's on to something here.

07/05/11 Fail

Double Vadge FAIL

Notice Tom Byron (dude on bottom) does all the thrustin, while the noob on top sits idle? Apparently the sensation of having another man's cock rubbing against your own proved all too much for this 1st timer. He immediately premature busts... and it lands all over Tom Byron's poor cock n balls!

06/29/11 Premature

Did I Just Do Anal.... IDK

There's only 2 people in the world that cant tell when they're being anally penetrated. Stephen Hawking.. and this girl. She's 19, anti masturbation and dumber than a Billy Goat crossbred with Tila Tequila. She also wants to be a pornstar. God bless.

Hipster Slut Gets Unexpected Anal

Rylie Richman says she never does anal. IMO, that's about as probable as Amy Winehouse hosting the Indy 500 inside her vagina but okay. In this clip, she puts her internal organs to the test by fucking a black guy who's got a cock the size of an ewok. An already bad situation is made worse when said Ewok cock slides up the wrong orifice.

Small Cocks @ The Gloryhole

Two best friends, both packing about as much meat as Earthworm Jim, head to the local glory hole for a good time. Penile deficient guy #1 gets laughed out the booth, while the 2nd is given a standing chance but ultimately lacks the inches neccessary for a practical performance. haha.

05/11/11 Gloryhole

Brokedick Mountain

Looks like a horse cock. I don't believe I've ever said that in a non-complementary form.

04/30/11

Dont Fuck With Gianna

Raided grandpa's porno war-chest last night, nabbed a copy of Manhandled 3. Halfway in there's an interesting scene where Steve Homles randomly baits Gianna Michaels into slapping him. Well, she delivers... and it aint no fucking love tap. Lets just say Mr. Homles is less than appreciative of Gianna's sense of humor.

04/29/11 EvilAngel Fights
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