You know you're in the golden age of porn when someone consults Michael Bay for their scene. Too bad the novelty of implied homicide wears off pretty quick when you have to multitask cumshots with Die Hard 1.
Prozac-deficient Internet hookers are a welcomed sight here at eFukt... but this post isn't about the daddy issues. It's about intensity. These temper tantrums cut deeper than Donald Trump's Twitter feed, and while that might not be saying much, I'm confident you'll be impressed.
Another edition of ratchet sex tape fails featuring hood rat stuff like fire alarms with dying batteries, one lopsided illegal butt implant and other ghetto stuff.
They're broke, desperate and need money for rent or else college might end early. So why not pimp out your girlfriend for tokens!? It's easy after you get the taste of your friends dick out her mouth.
This self-titled pimp from Arkansas goes by "Mrlongstroke2015" and today he has invited two ratchets over for a threesome show. One problem: the girls just beat him up.
Take one part anime, one part pornography, one part Mortal Kombat and you end up with a hilarious show about ninja school girls sexually man-slaughtering perverted villains around campus.
Congratz! Local Russian folklore states that if you are visited by the naked battle gypsy of St. Pete you will be forever blessed by good fortune. Don't look directly at her vagina though, or they say she'll curse you with impotence.
Flat-chested girls everywhere rejoice because there's worse things in life than having no tits. You could have weird tits and add implants, leaving you with gigantic weird sideshow tits. And back problems.
This girl will either steal your heart like it originally belonged to her anyway or annoy you into destroying something beautiful. For me it was her strong beliefs on pokemon and those back dimples that melted my cold heart.
There's 3 things that simply no longer exist in my world: 1) pornography induced erections 2) positive feedback on my 'this is what a feminist looks like' tee and 3) dinners at P.F. Changs that do NOT result in 1st degree burns to my anus. This vid solved 2 outta 3.
Another year has come and gone, and while it's important to celebrate the birth of my main man Jesus and ring in 2013... lets not forget to pay a much deserved tribute to the hardworking women of the sex trafficking industry. This one's for you, ladies.
