How To Impress The Ladies

How To Impress The Ladies

Uploaded 05/29/15
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You Just Got GHOSTED!

Nothing gets an appointment with the clinic booked faster than going skin on skin with east Asia's most notorious time bender. So here's 4 minutes worth. That's right, four. As in the number of Abreva pills she'll need to take per day for the rest of her life after becoming a victim to Venkman's ectoplasm.

05/20/24 Asians

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07/27/26

CAMTASTROPHES #16

Respect to the second girl [0:22 second mark] for being naturally gifted the amount of lip filler that could inflate the tire of a corn harvester, just injected into the wrong part of the body. It's anomalies like her that take these kinds of videos from "entertaining" to "autistic".

05/05/25 CAMTASTROPHES

Pure American Immorality

goon cave [plural goon caves] [Internet slang] An area or room dedicated to long masturbation sessions ["gooning"], often featuring a multi-monitor setup showing multiple pornographic contents simultaneously.


That's what Wikipedia tells you. What it doesn't tell you is some of these level 5 knuckle busting crotch goblins will bulldoze their entire savings account just to "expand their caves". So why are Americans singled out in the title? Because after being assaulted by over 500 photos of these demons, I noticed something; Not 1 Asian, Black, Hispanic or Alaskan Eskimo penis could be identified. Meaning this is yet another one of those spirited hobbies cultivated by the west. Feel free to sandwich it between 40 piece McNuggets and The Kardashians. [SOURCE #1] [SOURCE #2]

12/18/23 Gallery

THE WORST BOOB JOB IN PORNO HISTORY

It's too bad they don't do returns or exchanges, because these tits look like fuckin' grocery bags with cabbages in them. UGH...would totes still smash, but shit them titties fucked up yo!

Incel Uprising at the Maid Cafe

Don't let the Twitch staff wardrobe and lack of muscle fiber fool you: This army of limp-wristed, mouth-breathing fun-seekers have reached their breaking point and shit just hit the fan water-cooled RTX 3080. Consider this a warning to all women that can fit in a rowboat.

01/25/21 JAVHD Asians

The Deal Breaker

Classic case of overconfidence. If only he put as much effort into his hygiene as she did into Walmart bathrooms she choose to get tattooed in, then maybe this permanent mark on his resume could have been avoided. Live, learn and always wipe twice.

07/31/20 Fail

America's Real Crisis

This is what happens when Tinder gets boring and a woman experiments outside of her comfort zone. That fucking thing is one "let met talk to your manager haircut" away from being Brie Larson's stunt double. Or Tim Burton's next villain. Feel free to choose your own adventure today.

The Absolute Worst of Pornhub III

I'll admit that last clip might be enough to ruin your holiday feast later today. But it's Thanksgiving and you probably need something to talk to grandma about before the sweet potatoes hit the table. You should be thanking me, Mortimer. [PART I] [PART II]

Woman Sets Cum Swallowing World Record

I've seen some detestable shit during my tenure on the Internet. Hungarian equine mating rituals. 3 minutes of Concord gameplay footage. People thinking a P.T. Cruiser has resale value. But this? This confirmed the whole human race experiment failed.

11 of the Craziest Orgasms Ever

All I'm trying to say is the G-spot is easier to find than you think.

The Absolute Worst of Pornhub

A special WTFM8 @ that last clip. There's a part at the end I had to cut out where our catcher says something along the lines of "that was fun and amazing". No Bruno. Reading from the digestive Necronomicon (white castle menu) before visiting a public pool is fun and amazing. What just happened to you is unforgivable.

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