This is why I carry a 12oz bottle of my mace in my center console. Rest stops are great for quick 'on the road' jackoff sessions but they're almost always laden with dirty old men looking to score free peep shows. If they want to see me make love to myself, they gotta pay... otherwise it's mace to the face.
Nothing says revenge like like mixing bodily fluids into the foods of others. Think about how much spit, piss, shit and semen you've unwittingly ingested at the hands of motherfuckers like this. Processed food 4 life.
Anally penetrating a Ukrainian hooker while watching Mrs. Doubtfire has been on my to-do list for ages, but it looks like this crazy motherfucker beat me to it. Oh well, I'll still always be the 1st person ever to receive a blumpkin whilst playing Command & Conquer: Tiberian Dawn. Wasn't easy.
She tries to blame the fowl taste on the lube but that doesn't really explain the cheese whiz dripping out of her pussy. Douche with hydrogen peroxide + Mentos and get on with the show.
It's a porno, not a god damn fitness video. Stop adding in the shitty keyboard-generated dance music, it drains out the sound of the woman crying and gagging on cock, which is an essential part of my fap session.
Cocks like this ought to be illegal, punishable by castration. Anything above 13 inches has got to go. They'll poke your eye out, prolapse your ass and leave with you a cocktail of STD's.
This seems to be one of the rare instances where a woman can orgasm with little or no physical stimulation of the genitals. In this particular case, it looks like the deepthroating and/or gagging is what's triggering her orgasm.
It's typical really. Nudists are all about being natural... leave the genitals exposed, armpits unshaven and when you've got a yeast infection... you let it rain.
I have dreams of my penis being that big. I see myself wearing loose fitted short shorts with my wang hanging out the side as I rollerblade by the beach. Jealous men shield their girlfriends eyes as my cock sways back and forth in the wind.
He's got me beat by like one inch. Okay maybe more like 23 inches. I couldn't even satisfy a midget. But where I lack in size, I make up for with class and charm.
Aye carumba! Nice elephant cock dood! But I forsee 1 little problem... the only creatures with big enough holes for you to fuck are large horses and gay pornstars who've been subjected to olympian gangbangs. Tough break bro!
A self induced orgasm leaves this slut flopping around like a fish out of water. Reminds me of myself when I lost my virginity, except I actually cried a litte. Tears of joy.
Vintage porno with incestual undertones makes me laugh. It also heightens my urge to be transported back to the 70's so that I can fuck the shit out of hippies along side mothers with beehive hairdos.
Silicone is gonna start leaking out her nipples and in 3 days she'll be back to an A cup. I think that makes this the cheapest breast reduction surgery ever.
This is kinda a repost. There was a lot of requests for the full version of this video, so here it is. Basically some goth kid lends out his girlfriends asshole to his buddies. True friendship.
Her vagina lips looked like they belonged in an Arbys roast beef sandwhich. This was bad for her career so she set out on a perilous journey to unbeef her pussy and close the gape once and for all.
This guy genuinely thought that eating your own semen was socially acceptable. In France, yeah maybe. But in the rest of the world, no, people tend to frown upon the act of ingesting your own cum. Sorry!
This is probably why you don't see that many male performers bragging about their profession... cause they all got warts on their dicks and have to eat out girls like this! Yum yums.
I know I know, all I ever do is boast about the greatness of anal sex. But we must not disregard a major downside to packing fudge - and that would be the fact that getting shit all over your cock is inevitable.
