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He Rather Fuck A Horse

Hmmm. Cant really blame the guy. If your wife looked like a cross between Rosanne and a lesbian hippopotamus... you'd probably explore other options too.

02/16/10 LULZ

Orgasm Fail

Preggo girl is in the middle of cumming when her [minute] man declares that the apple sauce is en route for early delivery. She replies with a double "doo eet", which I believe means: "cum inside me so that I can finish my orgasm you twig dick motherfucker". The request didn't seem to catch.

12/08/09 Premature

The Sherminator

Props to the ginger on his pipe laying skills. Honestly haven't heard a woman scream that loud since the time I was caught defecating in front of Blockbuster in protest to late fees accumulated on my rental of The Neverending Story 3 (director's cut). Good times.

11/20/09 Orgasms

The Blob

He can brag about his 20 pound meat bag all he wants. If it doesn't get hard, then it's about as useful as a black hooker at a blood drive.

11/19/09 WTF

The Most Miserable Pornstar Ever

Pretty sure I once saw this chick in a humanitarian commercial for Yugoslavian orphans. It's hard to forget a facial expression like that.... especially after fappin to it for 3 consecutive months.

10/07/09 Fail

Cumshot Fail

Tojiri "vertigo" Yamamato fumbles at the 3 yard line.

09/26/09 Fail

Gangbanged By 251 Men For Nothing

The 90's - A time when fucking a quarter thousand men in the name of art somehow made sense. Talk about a resume booster!

08/09/09 LULZ

Blowjob Fail

It's semen, not battery acid. Embrace the saltiness and show some appreciation.

07/21/09 LULZ

Extreme Anal Maintenance

If only my girlfriend shared her habits... maybe then I wouldn't end up with shit in my urethra 3 times a week.

07/01/09 Bizarre

Help! My Boobs Are Too Big!

She basically paid over $10,000 just to have her titties butchered. What kind of sick, fucked up world is this?

04/14/09 Modifications

The Dumbest Sex Device Ever Built

That doesn't even look too fun. Her tits look like tomatoes on the verge of exploding. I never realized breasts were so durable. Not only do they come in handy for whatever the fuck you'd call this shit, but they also serve as excellent punching bags. They're multipurpose, unlike my penis.

12/28/08 Bizarre

LOL I Made You Gag

He seems pretty happy about his achievement. Try doing the same thing again except next time stick your cock in her ass first. When she comes up to blow you she won't gag, she'll just puke. It's called "ass 2 mouth". I invented it.

12/14/08 Fail

Death By Vaginal Cockroach

This is from a Russian film called Philosophy Of A Knife. It's about the Japanese Unit 731... the one that pretty much spent a decade coming up with ridiculous ways to kill people.

11/19/08 Bizarre

I Wanna Be A Pornstar

A few tit jobs and a little lipo, and then BAM... her vagina will be generating 7 figures annually before you even know it. It'll also be generating a yellowish discharge, depending on the severity of the Herpes and Gonorrhea that she's bound to contract.

10/04/08 Modifications

Make Sure My Pussy Works

She hits up the doctor cause she's having difficulty getting pregnant. I'm no gynecologist but if shaved that bush her husband would probably have an easier time finding the right hole.

09/05/08 Documentary

She Cums Nine Times

The dude sounds Popeye the Sailorman and his old lady squirts cum like a water fountain. They were born for eFukt. Thanks goes to Rod for the video.

08/28/08 Orgasms

Pornstar Gets A New Vagina

Her vagina lips looked like they belonged in an Arbys roast beef sandwhich. This was bad for her career so she set out on a perilous journey to unbeef her pussy and close the gape once and for all.

08/17/08 Beef Curtains

Newbie Ruins A Porno Shoot

This guy genuinely thought that eating your own semen was socially acceptable. In France, yeah maybe. But in the rest of the world, no, people tend to frown upon the act of ingesting your own cum. Sorry!

He Can Make A Girl Cum

In the past few months the "how to make a girl cum" video has received over a million views. One of those viewers tested out the technique on his girlfriend and sent us footage of the results. Pretty cool!

07/16/08 Amateur

Bosnian Nympho Fucks In A Bar

I should probably visit Bosnia. If girls will drop their panties for dirty old scumbags like that over there, I might still have a shot at losing my virginity afterall.

07/11/08 Public
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