I caught my ex-girlfriend masturbating once after months of reconnaissance. At first I was all like "HAHA I finally caught you! Yussss!".... but then it occured to me - she rather fuck a piece of plastic than sleep with me. What a fucking insult.
I'm pretty sure just about everyone gets caught having sex by their parents at some point in life. Well maybe not if you're an orphan, but it definitely happened to me. I was playing Tetris, level 34, as the neighborhood hoe performed fellatio on my Ultra Magnus. I put in a special request to mother for some Nachos Bell Grande, assuming I'd be finished prior to delivery. Needless to say my calculations were a bit off.
Really now, I've been caught doing worse things on the job. K-Mart, January 2002, thirty minutes before closing, pet food aisle. Me, Mrs. Dilworth and a 2 foot lava lamp straight out of the display case. Use your imagination.
This is why I carry a 12oz bottle of my mace in my center console. Rest stops are great for quick 'on the road' jackoff sessions but they're almost always laden with dirty old men looking to score free peep shows. If they want to see me make love to myself, they gotta pay... otherwise it's mace to the face.
From what I've read there is a longer version of this floating around somewhere. If any of you have it - hit me up! I have a sneaking suspicion that someone ends up getting their ass kicked.
No no you're doing it all wrong. You gotta hide the camera in a black t-shirt with the lens poking out through one of the arm holes and be sure to use some black tape to cover up the red LED light. Mom will never notice! hah
Since this was one of the most popular videos on eFukt, I decided to repost a longer and better quality version of it. I like how the anorexic goth kid wearing eyeliner has a dick big enough to put most male pornstars to shame. See more HERE and HERE.
